A Banner Year for Gravity

Our school spirit took a nosedive Wednesday when… A Banner Year for Gravity

Our school spirit took a nosedive Wednesday when the Cathedral of Leaning banner reading “Home of the Kenneth P. Dietrich School of Arts and Sciences” came toppling to the ground. Although no one was injured, we at The Pitt News are nonetheless incensed: When William Dietrich donated to Carnegie Mellon, students got fireworks and a free Guster concert. We, on the other hand, got a sign that won’t even stay up.

Reporting Live from Level 8

British broadcaster ITV betrayed its n00bishness this Monday when its recent documentary “Exposure: Gaddafi and the IRA” misidentified a scene from the video game ArmA 2 as real footage of terrorists, according to the BBC. This is upsetting for two reasons: Not only do the show’s producers not know good filmmaking, they also don’t know good games — Call of Duty: Black Ops has much better graphics.

18 Lives

A healthy, albeit miserly looking two-faced cat celebrated its 12th birthday earlier this month, according to the Boston Globe, making it the oldest ever feline with such a deformity (it’s just been inducted into the Guinness World Records). Although the pet has already received more than enough attention, we’re convinced it would make a perfect mascot for Pitt football: It’s a miracle it’s still alive, but it’s not doing much.

A Leg for an Arm

Some people aren’t content to simply observe stupidity secondhand. After watching “127 Hours,” outdoorsman Amos Wayne Richards decided to attempt a hike in the same canyon that cost James Franco’s character his arm, the Associated Press reports. The adventure was short-lived: On Sept. 8, after falling 10 feet, Richards broke his leg and dislocated his shoulder. Park rangers found the injured adventurer four days later. Although it might take him a while to regain his strength, not to mention his dignity, we urge readers to look on the bright side: At least he didn’t try to recreate Franco’s performance in “Spider-Man 3.”

Cool Ranch or Regular?

The family of recently deceased Doritos creator Arch West isn’t about to let a funeral preclude celebrating America’s favorite snack food. For tomorrow’s ceremony, West’s kin have encouraged friends to toss the famed chips around his burial box, according to Reuters. Although this might in itself  be a sufficient tribute to the culinary connoisseur, we think a science experiment is in order: check his gravesite every 100 years and determine how much, if at all, the chips decompose.