Pittsburgh’s City Council attempted to block plans to build a new strip club in the South… Pittsburgh’s City Council attempted to block plans to build a new strip club in the South Side, and I’m utterly confused as to why.

Lawyers representing Pittsburgh asked three commonwealth judges to overturn plans to build Club Marquise, a 5,000-square-foot gentlemen’s club on West Carson Street straddled between Station Square and what I like to call Little Jersey Shore.

It turns out the lot the club is planned to be built on sits right next to the Onala Club, a center for recovering drug and alcohol addicts. Keeping abreast of the area, it’s also on a stretch of road that saw 150 accidents between 2003 and 2007, the Post-Gazette reports.

Ordinarily, I’d say these reasons are valid enough to grind Club Marquise to a halt. But they don’t tell the whole story.

According to WTAE, the city planning commission passed a 9-0 ruling against Marquise Investments in 2008, yet its effect was titular at best. City Council was supposed to hold a public hearing before submitting the final paperwork with the decision, but it never did, the station reported.

After the city had danced around with the paperwork for a few months, the investment group appealed the decision. Soon after, good fortune fell in the investment group’s lap, with zoning already approved for the venue.

Commonwealth Judge Mary Hannah Leavitt questioned whether the Onala Club should carry enough clout that its presence dictate how other businesses in the area should run, according to the Post-Gazette. She also said operating times between 9 p.m. and 4 a.m. shouldn’t affect traffic too much.

As the battle of whether to implant such a business continues within the legal system, I’d like to suggest that having another strip club in the area would likely do much more good than harm.

Joe Panzino, the executive director for the Onala Club, said in an interview with the Post-Gazette that he could “name you half a dozen people right now who, within [the strip club’s] first month, will be lapsed. The environment of recovery would be totally compromised,” he said.

Additionally, the Onala Club says on its website that it runs as many as six Alcoholics Anonymous meetings per day, with sessions starting at 7 a.m. and after 10 p.m. Outside of a rehab clinic, few other organizations operates on such a schedule.

Being aware of the surroundings, it would be more irresponsible for the Onala Club to run that late knowing that its patients suffer from severe addictions than anything else. If patients wanted to go to bars or strip clubs, it’s not like they’re too hard to find on Carson Street or Downtown anyway.

And those already have liquor licenses.

What Club Marquise would guarantee with its presence, however, would be more jobs in the city. From construction workers renovating the former medical office to the women performing in it, the club would create more tax revenue — the majority likely coming in $1 denominations.

It’s not like Pittsburgh is new to mass opposition of supposedly sinful activities, either. Last year when the Rivers Casino opened, protesters claimed that it would lead to widespread gambling addictions, crime and prostitution.

None of that panned out. What did, however, was the creation of about 1,000 new jobs, according to the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review. On a much smaller scale, a new strip club will likely do the same.

It will also benefit the city, supplementing the tax base and helping to fill part of the severely underfunded city pension fund. Strippers have to pay rent and taxes like everyone else. Since the city will need to stuff its metaphorical G-string with $91 million by 2016 lest it face a Harrisburg takeover, I don’t think government officials should be worrying how the tax dollars get there, as long as it’s legal.

I know this city has a selective set of Puritan values its citizens and representatives choose to employ when it’s convenient. I’ve lived here for five years, it’s hard to ignore.

But a government’s purpose is to do what’s in the best interest of its citizens. Many of the 1,600 people who go to the Onala Club likely won’t be affected, as the club offers services beyond just treatment for alcohol abuse. And, as stated before, Onala-goers probably won’t be there during the strip club’s open hours.

But, this city faces a very real chance of a state takeover. Its “Most Livable City” status could also be in jeopardy, as a large-scale restructuring could cut the benefits life-long Pittsburghers have enjoyed for decades.

So  — being perfectly practical — it would probably be in the city’s best interests to forget about cutting off Marquise Investments and make  generating more revenue a top priority. The state government is not the kind of sugar daddy this city would want to have.

Do you feel Jacob is being a boob about this subject, or does T&A stand for tax and advance to you? E-mail him at [email protected] or check out his blog at thingsthatrhymewithcars.wordpress.com.