“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

If you ask the American education system, you must know by the time you’re in high school. God forbid you’re ever a fresh college graduate and not living on your own with a fully established career. There’s too much pressure to have one set path in life, especially considering the increasing popularity of grind culture. I mean, I’m a drastically different person now than I was even a year ago, let alone when I was 17 years old and picking out a college.

Graduation is three months away, and I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I definitely don’t feel grown up. It’s hard to decide what you want in life when you still don’t feel old enough to make these kinds of decisions. It’s even harder when comparing yourself to everyone else. My imposter syndrome is through the roof, and it seems like everywhere I look, people I know are landing absolutely insane positions straight out of school. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for them, but it’s disheartening to think about how I’m not quite there yet. 

When I was younger, I thought college would be the time in my life when I got all my life experience in and figured out who I am and what I want. It is, to some degree, and I’m happy to say that I’m a little bit closer to figuring it all out, but I’m not fully there yet. Well, I’m here to tell you that that’s okay.

Yes, my future is uncertain, but I refuse to rush into some job that makes me unhappy just because I feel like I have to. My mentality is as long as I’m learning, things will be alright.

Really, what it all comes down to — and I can’t stress this enough — is that we have our entire lives to work. Right now, we are at a point in our life that most older people would kill for. We’re the youngest we’ll ever be again, and, as scary as that is, it’s also very freeing. I’m not going to speak for everyone, but I’m 21 with no kids and no career. Why waste my youth worrying about the profession I’ll have later on, especially if it’s for the rest of my life?

Now, I’m no STEM major, but a few quick calculations tell me that if you’re retiring in your early sixties like most Americans, and you’re in your early twenties now, you still have some forty-odd years to work. Doesn’t that put things into perspective? Why are you worrying about what you’re going to do immediately after graduation, about what career you’re going to start, when you have the actual first day of the rest of your life waiting for you?

I had an ex-boyfriend once tell me that college is the only time in your life when you can decide exactly how you want to spend your life, day by day. You can build your schedule around commitments like work, clubs and meetings, and it’s an opportunity to gain independence on your own time. When he pointed this out, it felt like I was given the chance to take advantage of it, to savor it, to spend my time the way I wanted to before my life was consumed by a typical 9-to-5. But I don’t think this is the way it should be.

Everyone says college is the best years of your life, but maybe that’s just because everyone rushes into a soul-sucking career as soon as they graduate. People don’t take the time to stop and smell the roses before they choose a permanent direction, and that’s not to say that certain jobs are inherently wrong, it’s just that certain jobs are wrong for certain people. The last thing I want is to wake up and be 50, stuck in a career that makes me unhappy, having lost my passions years ago, all because I didn’t take a little time for myself post-graduation.

Not rushing into a job doesn’t mean I don’t work hard, or that I don’t have a good work ethic. I work to support myself, and I understand that it’s not feasible for everyone to just take some time off. I’m not saying you should just sit at home and do nothing, or that you should fly across the world and move to the French countryside. What I am saying is that I simply find it more important for people to figure out who they are before settling into a full-time career. I know so many people who have taken alternate routes to find their own versions of success, instead of the idea of success that’s thrust upon us.

My first year at Pitt, I met people who knew they wanted to pursue pre-med from the day they were born. I also met seniors who were switching their major in their last semester. I met people in trade schools, people who were commuting and people who transferred from community colleges. As a senior now, I have friends doing everything from working full-time jobs, traveling the world and working as baristas because it provides them both freedom and flexibility. 

College taught me that there is nothing wrong with taking your time. Success isn’t linear, and that full-time job can wait.

I know it’s hard to internalize all of this when you’re fighting tooth and nail to have someone in the corporate world at least acknowledge your existence, but it’s true. It’s definitely something I need to remind myself as I’m refreshing LinkedIn 20 times an hour, but I know that I still have time, and that things will work out. 

I’m young, I’m smart and I’m still figuring it out. I love watching other people find their passions and what makes them happy, and I think it’s time for me to do the same. It’s scary, but it’s also very, very exciting.

So, stop worrying about that 401k, and go get a job in food service. Travel somewhere you haven’t been before, even if it’s just for the weekend. Get some life experience doing something, anything. But, whatever you do, make sure you’re learning — about what you like to do, what you’re good at and even what you’re bad at — especially what you’re bad at.

And the next time someone asks about what you’re doing in the future, do what I’m going to do and be honest, even if the answer is “I don’t know, but I’m figuring it out.”

Remember, no matter what, “What do you want to be?” is an infinitely better question than “What do you wish you were?”

Juliana Morello writes about whatever’s on her mind. Follow her on Instagram @juliana.morello or write to her at [email protected]