Finalize it

Finals Week for Pitt students begins next week, which should be a relaxing time… Finalize it

Finals Week for Pitt students begins next week, which should be a relaxing time after all the finals students took this week.

SGB presses ‘abort’

Student Government Board denied funding to a pro-life group this week. Now they’re like the real government.

The Black and Blue album

The Associated Press reported that Weezer canceled the rest of its December tour after lead singer River Cuomo was hurt in a bus crush. Cuomo should’ve taken his board to work.

Drunken horseplay

A police officer in Lancaster County arrested an Amish man for drunk driving after noticing him asleep inside his buggy as the horse pulled it slowly along, according to the Lancaster Intelligencer Journal. The man blew a .18 on a Breathalyzer test. When police asked the horse if it was a designated driver, it responded “Nayyy.”

Sweater party?

Students often marvel when those first few flakes float down from the sky. But now, it’s cold and windy as hell. Suddenly, those holiday sweaters aren’t looking quite as ugly.

Into the Woods

As Tiger Wood’s conglomeration of an affair continues to unfold, The Pitt News has a confession to make: We are one of Tiger Woods’ mistresses, too.