This is a short endorsement, because it comes on the heels of a very fast young man. I am… This is a short endorsement, because it comes on the heels of a very fast young man. I am talking about Dion Lewis.

I endorse Dion Lewis as the greatest football player. I have heard stories about Jerry Rice and Joe Montana and Johnny Unitas. None compares to Dion Lewis by any measure, even if they played different positions.

Our support for Lewis should not end when he walks off the field or even when he is no longer in our field of vision. I believe this so strongly that, if you see me walking around, you better go ahead and chant, “Go Lewis! Go Lewis!” It is also best if this chant is accompanied by a “raise the roof” gesture or that one move where you look like you’re turning a giant wheel.

Under no circumstances should anyone refer to Lewis as “Dion.” Dion is a fine name, but someone might think we were talking about Deion Sanders, and it would be a travesty of justice if an ounce of Lewis’ praise goes to Deion Sanders. We must hold the line and only yell, “Go Lewis!” There are no famous football players named Lewis.

One of the important ways to show our support for Lewis is by lifting me up while chanting, “Go Lewis!” Since I am the architect of the coming swell of support for Lewis, it makes the most sense that I should be the one lifted up.

All who love Pitt, take heed!

E-mail Lewis (Lehe) at [email protected].