Devolution Revolution

A segment on CBS’s “The Early Show” revealed scientific… Devolution Revolution

A segment on CBS’s “The Early Show” revealed scientific research on the prospect of turning chickens into dinosaurs. Termed “reverse evolution,” the process involves an idea to take chicken embryos and “turn off development,” which some scientists think will cause the birds to revert to their prehistoric forms. We’re excited for the prospect of Kentucky Fried Dinosaur, though the gravy will still be the best part.

California Raisin’

The Board of Regents for the University of California met last week and decided to raise tuition by 32 percent. We didn’t know Mayor Luke Ravenstahl sat on the board.

Happy Birthdays

Today marks the 150th anniversary of the release of Darwin’s “On the Origin of Species,” redefining our understanding of nature’s delicate balance. Today is also the 138th anniversary of the incorporation of the National Rifle Association, which remains comitted to maintaining that balance.

Grand ‘Smoken’ing

The National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws announced the opening of the first marijuana café in the United States. Though Cannibus Café, located in Portland, Ore., is not technically the first U.S. marijuana café ever, it is the first opened since President Obama ended federal prosecution of medical marijuana vendors. Along with the usual weed mélange, we suggest they carry some munchies like the Sticky Icky Icky Bun and Chicken Nugz.

19th place is the 18th loser

In a recent analysis of corrupt governments, New Zealand was found to be the least corrupt nation. The United States ranked No. 19. Next year, we’ll know to pay off the judges.

G-21

From Sept. 19-24 of next year (exactly one year after the 2009 G-20 Summit), the David Lawrence Convention Center will host the 27th annual Tactical Operations Conference and Vendor Show. This year’s conference was held on the streets of Lawrenceville and Oakland.

Glenn Beck’s Sea Change

While touring to promote his new book, controversial pundit Glenn Beck announced he has a “big plan” he will unveil in 2010. According to Beck, Americans need a “100-year plan” to take back their country. We wanted to make a joke, but we’re just a paper that … *sniff … we’re sorry … *sniff … we’re just a paper that cares an awful lot about narcissistic marketing campaigns.