Un-financial aid

Georgetown University sophomore Charley Cooper just couldn’t manage the… Un-financial aid

Georgetown University sophomore Charley Cooper just couldn’t manage the everyday rigors of laundry, car care and keeping his closet clean. So he logged onto the University’s student employment website in search of a personal assistant to hire.

He’s offering $10-$12 an hour. Cooper’s request seems excessive, as we’re pretty sure Georgetown’s $40,000 tuition already includes a butler.

On the rioting road

On Wednesday, the Phillies defeated the Dodgers 10-4, securing a spot in the World Series. Consequently, The Pitt News began to plan its travel arrangements for the post-championship celebrations, because we only know how to cover riots.

Delicious decisions

In the past, garish Homecoming fliers and their ever-catchy campaign slogans covered nearly every University wall and sidewalk.

This year, Homecoming candidates tried a new campaign strategy — a choice of free pizza, popcorn or cotton candy in front of the Union.

Finally, a way for us to properly judge the candidates.

Student buzzkill

School officials from Foxborough, Mass., are combating underage drinking by allowing the use of Breathalyzers to test students at dances, extracurricular events and even during regular school day hours if there’s any suspicion of alcohol use.

Now, students will have to find a way to sneak water in their vodka bottles.

Police persistence

During Wednesday’s mayoral debate, all three candidates promised to better support the police department.

This is exactly what Pitt students have been demanding for weeks: an increased police presense.