Sarah Palin began her resignation speech from Alaskan governorship by saying, “Nothing’s… Sarah Palin began her resignation speech from Alaskan governorship by saying, “Nothing’s more important to me than our beloved Alaska.” This statement — and many others in her convoluted and often contradictive rant of superlatives and laments — was a manicured slap in the face to the citizens of Alaska.

I should preface this by saying, there were a few portions of Palin’s speech that were coherent. For example, she made it very clear that:

a) She really, really, really loves Alaska!

b) The mainstream media is evil — EVIL — and never gives her any credit for anything (“But you don’t hear much of the good stuff in the press anymore, do you?” she bemoaned).

c) She can throw out folksy adages and sports metaphors with the best of them.

What was unclear, however, was why, exactly, she decided to resign.

Though Palin spewed out a number of reasons for ending her tenure, albeit in a clumsy and unfulfilling manner — like a McDonald’s worker hawking out Happy Meals — I can tell you this: She was thinking about herself, not Alaska, when she made the decision.

Her reasoning that she cost the state thousands of hours and $2 million fighting 15 ethics complaints is valid, I suppose. If I were an Alaskan, I certainly wouldn’t re-elect her. But as Palin said herself, the charges have been dismissed — “We’ve won!”

So why abandon the state now after the damage is already done? Why not, instead, seek to compensate that lost time and money by working harder to serve the state?

Then she goes on to say that, somehow, by resigning she is choosing a path of productivity.

According to Palin, “It may be tempting and more comfortable to just keep your head down, plod along and appease those who demand: ‘Sit down and shut up,’ but that’s the worthless, easy path; that’s a quitter’s way out.”

What I — and I’m sure many others — fail to understand is how continuing in her duties as governor is the quitter’s way out and how quitting is the “productive and fruitful” route.

Palin offers the insincere excuse that it’s because she is a lame-duck governor. All lame-duck governors “hit the road, draw the paycheck and ‘milk it,’” as if, were she to remain in office, the poor thing would be absolutely forced to spend the majority of her time in the lower 48 states and to frivolously spend money on things like, oh, say clothing.

But she’s already done that, hasn’t she? (You betcha!)

What’s more, if Palin was able to accomplish so much — as she insisted, while reading a self-congratulatory list of triumphs on everything from ethics reform to breaking ground on a new prison — while at the same time campaigning for the vice presidency, then surely she could contribute equal progress, if not more, as a lame-duck governor.

But according to Palin, she is done with “politics as usual” (lest we forget, she’s a maverick!), so she could hardly comply with the logical course of action. I must say I agree with this assertion, when you figure that “politics as usual” entails, well, doing one’s job (unless your name is Gov. Mark Sanford, of course).

No. I think it’s quite clear that there was probably a very good reason for Palin’s resignation. But that reason was for her own benefit, not the state’s — though Alaska is undoubtedly better off without her.

My guess is it’s a combination of money — Palin would make a great deal more money giving speeches, writing books or receiving her own show on Fox & Friends (every Republican’s dream!) than continuing her service as governor — and a general disillusionment with the spotlight.

In Palin’s mind, the media has had it out for her — and only her — since day one.

More than once, she has been handing out a particular brand of nasty with her name on it, something she responded to with fury the day after her resignation.

“And though it’s honorable for countless others to leave their positions for a higher calling and without finishing a term,” she whined on her Facebook page, “of course we know by now, for some reason a different standard applies for the decisions I make.”

Gee, the media digging around in a major political player’s history and, even worse, bringing up personal issues!? They would never do that to, say, someone like Hillary Clinton.

No, that would be “politics as usual,” wouldn’t it?

Still, others speculate that Palin is positioning herself for a 2012 presidential candidacy (how quitting one’s first term as governor helps in this feat, I have no idea) or that Palin is covering up a yet-to-be-revealed ethical dilemma.

For the moment, there is no real way to know exactly why she resigned, and frankly, I don’t even care anymore.

If Palin wants to do what’s best for herself and not her state, then good on her. But please, Gov. Palin, have a little respect for your constituents and at least tell them the truth.

What do you think sent Miss Fish Gutter 2009 over the top? E-mail Molly at [email protected].