It’s become a yearly tradition for Pitt basketball fans.

After the men’s team loses in the… It’s become a yearly tradition for Pitt basketball fans.

After the men’s team loses in the NCAA Tournament, and occasionally even before then, rumors fly that coach Jamie Dixon will bolt. His name pops up as a candidate for practically every coaching job west of Pittsburgh, from Southern California to Arizona to Dana Carvey Middle School in Montana. One of those might be made up.

Nonetheless, many analysts throw around these rumors because Dixon is a sought-after coach. He was born in California, so many think he’d like to go back there one day. This is why Pitt needs to have a backup plan just in case Dixon leaves.

Now, it’s an interesting time for the Pitt men’s basketball program. The team just concluded arguably its best season ever, but it is losing three starters to graduation. The Panthers do have some young talent and incoming players they hope can take over and continue the program’s resurgence, but who knows if they’ll pan out.

On top of that, center DeJuan Blair could leave early to enter the NBA Draft. If he does, Pitt loses four starters and its best returning player, not to mention a hometown fan favorite.

Well, here it is, people in charge of the men’s basketball program. Lock this plan up in a glass case and break it open only in case of emergency.

If Dixon leaves for Dana Carvey Middle School — now with a silhouette of the Church Lady as its logo! — it’s imperative Blair returns. If he comes back, Pitt has a potential player of the year candidate and go-to guy to build the young team around.

In order to keep him around, I now introduce you to DeJuan Blair: player-coach.

Yes, the practically forgotten hybrid where a guy filling out the lineup pencils in his own name and decides if he’s in too much foul trouble to be on the court. It was a popular title for people to hold through the 1970s, partly because it allowed teams to not pay an extra salary for a coach. It’s basically a two-for-one deal.

The great Bill Russell was a player-coach for the Boston Celtics from 1966-69, making him the first black coach in NBA history. Under his lead, the Celtics won the NBA title twice. Lenny Wilkens, who has the most victories and losses of any coach ever, also was a player-coach for the Seattle SuperSonics and Portland Trail Blazers.

So why not Blair? He’s projected as a first-round pick in the Draft, so Pitt has to sweeten the deal in an attempt to make him stay. Making him coach certainly does that. A few details need to be worked out before such a deal can take place, but that’s no problem.

First off, coaches get paid, but college athletes don’t. So a college player-coach provides a bit of a conundrum. Well, instead of paying for Blair’s coaching, give him college credit for it. Count it as an unpaid internship, but maybe give him more than three credits. It can be some type of really intense super-internship that counts for a few classes’ worth of credits.

Next up, the wardrobe. Despite my many letters to the Naismith family, basketball coaches still do not wear jerseys while coaching. Only baseball seems to get how awesomely hilarious that is.

Anyway, obviously you don’t want your star player wearing a suit, nor unfortunately do you want your coach wearing shorts and a jersey. Make him wear dress shoes, but replace the bottoms of the shoes with rubber sneaker-like implants. Put buttons going down the front of his jersey, and cufflinks on his bicep bands. He’ll also have a tear-away suit to warm up in before games.

A lot is always made of coaches who are not only well-respected by their players, but well-loved also. One way a coach can do this is if he can relate to his team. Who would better understand the life of a college basketball player than a college basketball player?

So it’s very likely his team would like him. Plus, how can a player get mad at Blair? He could tell them to run eight suicides after a two-hour practice and not hear a single groan as long as he flashed them that giant smile of his.

Also, things might get a little hairy with Blair’s fouls. It is possible Blair could get four technical fouls in one game, as long as the refs keep track of whether the technical was given to player Blair or coach Blair. If he’s thrown out of a game for reaching under the court, taking out a bat wrapped in barbed wire and striking an opponent, the refs need to figure out if that was player Blair or coach Blair. Basically, it’s doable, but it’s going to take a little more effort by the referees.

This only works if Blair is serious about coaching. He needs to sub properly, and he can’t play himself all game, unless of course for some reason he’s needed all 40 minutes. The only reason that makes sense right now is if just five players show up.

Hopefully it doesn’t come to this, but in case it does, there you have it, head honchos at Pitt. It’s a scary possibility, but it is a possibility, so be prepared.

If you aren’t, you could be looking for a new coach and center when you could have them both inside one jersey.

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