There are plenty of ways to tell if it’s the National Football League’s offseason. Was the Super… There are plenty of ways to tell if it’s the National Football League’s offseason. Was the Super Bowl recently played? Is the NFL Draft approaching? Is the media skewering Terrell Owens, or talking about the possible return of Brett Favre? But if you aren’t sure about any of those, there is one other question you can ask yourself: Has the league created any new idiotic rules, or is it strongly considering messing with its already perfect formula? Right on schedule, last week the NFL announced a few rule changes for next year. One of the rules states that pass rushers knocked to the ground who continue with the play and try to take down the quarterback from the turf will be penalized 15 yards for unsportsmanlike conduct. Unofficially, this is known as the ‘Tom Brady Rule,’ after the Patriots quarterback was hit by the Kansas City Chiefs’ Bernard Pollard, who was on the ground, in last season’s opening game and suffered a year-ending knee injury. This was passed as a safety measure. There’s no way to argue with the league about trying to keep NFL players safer. No non-sadomasochistic NFL fan wants to see a player get injured. Or at least most fans don’t root for injuries.’ But the biggest issue with this rule is that it results in an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. It is now unsportsmanlike in the NFL to try to tackle the quarterback if you’re on the ground. To look at it another way, it’s sportsmanlike to get knocked down and end your play right there. Not to get all philosophical on you, but what would Chumbawamba think? Of course, players can stand back up and tackle the quarterback, but there’s so little time during an NFL play to drop to the ground and stand back up before the quarterback has thrown the ball or taken off for a run. Instead, if you get knocked down, even right next to the quarterback, stand up or just take a catnap until the next play. Another rule passed continued with the growing trend of naming plays after players. The next one is the ‘Hines Ward Rule.’ This is a blocking rule that says it’s now illegal for a blind-side block that comes from the blocker’s helmet, forearms or shoulder if it lands on the blockee’s head or neck area. It’s named after the Steelers’ Ward pulled off a block last season against Cincinnati’s Keith Rivers in which Ward broke the linebacker’s jaw. This one seems a bit more reasonable, if only because hitting people in the head while they’re not looking is quite dangerous, medically speaking. Once again, this was a rule passed with interest in keeping the players safe. It’s unfortunate Rivers was injured last season, but it is football. Players who are incredibly fit collide at high speeds. Occasionally, people are going to get hurt. It’s not the finest part of the game, but it is part of the game. While the NFL seems to try, you can’t make injuries illegal. You just can’t. It is literally impossible. So what NFL officials do is try to pass rules to help lower the risk of injuries. These rules might do that, but they also might not. What these rules seem most likely to do is take the flow out of the game. Is a player going to have an opportunity to lay a huge block on an opponent, only to realize just as he’s running full-speed that he’s coming from the blind side, so he stops? Or is the defensive lineman who is on the ground just as a quarterback shuffles by him going to not reach out because of this new rule? It seems unlikely. In the midst of the game, instincts take over, and there’s not much you can do about that. The rules have also angered many fans who think the league is trying to take away some of the game’s physicality. A few have even wondered how soon until quarterbacks wear flags defensive players have to tear off instead of tackle, which is absurd. Those flags would be placed on the waist, and reaching for them could lead to serious injury in the groin region of the quarterback or to a defensive player questioning his own sexuality when he finds himself purposely missing the flag. While the league is just trying to protect its players with the new rules, it does seem like we’re getting to a point where defensive players are going to have to ask offensive players permission to tackle them. Perhaps a tap on the shoulder and usage of the word ‘please’ will soon be prerequisites for a tackle. Or to further protect players, they’ll have to wear their current padding plus bubble wrap. No matter what effect you think the new rules will have on the NFL, one thing is clear: When they have some time on their hands, league officials get bored easily and do stupid things. The new rules almost make you clamor for the golden age of NFL offseasons when we wondered if Favre would grace the league with his presence this year. Just kidding. No new rules could be that bad. ‘