‘ ‘ ‘ So, what did you get for Christmas this year? I got a wife. ‘ ‘ ‘ Excited as I always… ‘ ‘ ‘ So, what did you get for Christmas this year? I got a wife. ‘ ‘ ‘ Excited as I always am to tell people about this, they typically respond as though I’d just told them I have a terminal illness. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘Oh no,’ they might say. ‘But you’re so young!’ ‘ ‘ ‘ People often ask me why I’d want to get married at this age ‘mdash; but then, why do people get married at any age? ‘ ‘ ‘ In a sense, those who question my decision are justified. Almost. Life isn’t a race, and you don’t get extra points for reaching its milestones before anyone else. But the biggest flaw to that metaphor isn’t the speed, it’s the racetrack ‘mdash; after all, life’s hurdles aren’t in the same position for every runner on the track. ‘ ‘ ‘ True, many young people are more in love with the idea of marriage than the institution itself ‘mdash; watch a few episodes of ‘Engaged and Underage’ and you’ll understand. Finding your life’s partner ‘mdash; should you even subscribe to the belief that you’re meant to have one ‘mdash; is an arduous task for many, and it would be a major relief to get it over with early so you can get on with your life already. For that reason, I consider myself very fortunate to have found so early the person I love, my best friend, the woman I want to one day bear my children and shovel Jell-O into my gummy, toothless mouth. ‘ ‘ ‘ But as appealing as the concept of marriage and lifelong companionship might be, it isn’t a decision to make lightly. Getting married is not the next logical step for your relationship after moving in together, or after being a couple for any certain number of years. Depending on your relationship, it could scarcely be a step at all, as much as it’s a statement. ‘ ‘ ‘ My wife and I met when we were 16 years old, and almost immediately we each knew that the other was irreplaceable. After freshman year we moved in together and merged our bank accounts, and shortly thereafter we were engaged. After spending two and a half years attempting to plan (and more importantly, finance) a wedding, we finally eloped in December and were married in front of a lone witness and a photographer. ‘ ‘ ‘ And really, that was that. Nothing changed but her last name and our tax status. Which brings us back to the original question I so often hear: ‘Why would you want to get married so young?’ ‘ ‘ ‘ Marriage is a statement, not a ‘next step’ for a relationship. My wife and I, both 22 years old, have spent more than a fourth of our lives together, but we didn’t get married out of any sense of obligation to each other. Married or not, we’d spend our lives together ‘mdash; the wedding only made it official, and I’m proud to announce it every time I can call her my wife instead of my girlfriend. ‘ ‘ ‘ Anyone can live a married life without being married. Your rights and your taxes change a little, and if you’re a religious sort (unlike myself), you can finally have all the guilt-free sex you want. If you’re in a relationship that merits marriage ‘mdash; that is, a happy, stable, loving one ‘mdash; very little is likely to technically change. ‘ ‘ ‘ What does change, or rather the thing that makes marriage an institution to which everyone ‘mdash; young, old, gay, straight, white, black ‘mdash; deserves the irrevocable right, is that you’ve made your declaration of love and commitment. ‘ ‘ ‘ And in times like these, if you’ve found someone with whom you can truly be happy, with whom you can share life’s good and bad, with whom you can grow and be alive with ‘mdash; well then, by God, you deserve to declare yourself.