As I sat in my dorm room in serious contemplation of … something, a tremendous din enveloped… As I sat in my dorm room in serious contemplation of … something, a tremendous din enveloped the room. The walls rattled and quivered, matched only by my rattling brain and nerves. Some very angry man was saying something, but saying it in rhythm and with a backbeat underneath. It was, as I’m sure you’ve already gathered, a rap song. The lyrics of this rap song were typically profound, especially in the way that they compared the human condition, more specifically the female one, to that of a canine.’ Which specific rap song it was, I have not the slightest idea. At times like these, it is often comforting to think of classical music, and disconcerting to note that many people have never heard such classical standards as ‘Pictures at an Exhibition’ by Modest Mussorgsky, or are unaware that ‘Pictures at an Exhibition’ is not the newest exhibit at the Carnegie Museum. Classical music is the music of old people, the eccentric and irredeemable squares; those who have no idea what a good time is, and whose wildest evenings involve staying at Heinz Hall until 10:30 p.m. and having a single glass of merlot. The fans, and the music itself, are seen as elitist, effete, snobbish, dull and inaccessible to the modern audience. This is unfair. These terms only apply to the music of Richard Wagner. Classical music was meant to be enjoyed by the general public. George Frideric Handel’s best-known vocal works, the massive English oratorios, were the pop music of the day. They were written because Handel needed to make money after Italian opera was no longer a craze. Johann Sebastian Bach was writing for the congregation of a church. Teen crazes over boys bands are not a new phenomenon. Giuseppe Verdi wrote music to inspire an entire nation, and some of his music was powerful enough to trigger riots in Milan. Franz Liszt was the Hungarian Idol of his day, and enjoyed rock-star status. What we can draw from just these few examples is that classical music was not intended to be the exclusive purview of the few who know exactly what a fermata is or those who have an exquisite grasp of dynamics, balance and intonation. When the music was written, it was written to be enjoyed. People back then were no smarter than they are today, nor more knowledgeable about music. If they could understand and appreciate music, then anybody today should be able to do the same. More difficult to refute is the idea that classical music is boring. Taste is a subjective thing, and one man’s boredom is another’s fascination. I love studying glaciers where some see only a wall of ice, and where others see a brilliant painting, I see a bunch of rectangles and squares. However, not enough people have given classical music a chance, and they have not listened to enough of it to make an informed decision. Now, making uninformed decisions is very much the American way. We need to look no further than the results of our elections. However, to unilaterally dismiss music prior to 1950 is to dismiss 700 years of human endeavor as not worthy of any attention at all. This is an incredibly stupid thing to do. Some people’s perceptions of classical music are unfortunately shaped by what slips into popular culture, which tends to be the same parts of the same pieces again and again. Most obnoxiously, the ‘Ode to Joy’ of Beethoven’s ‘Symphony No. 9’ and the first few bars of ‘No. 5’ pop up everywhere as some sort of theme music. When this is the only classical music you ever hear, then, yes, it does get boring after a while. However there are, combined, one hour and 40 minutes of music in these two symphonies that we never hear in, say, ‘Die Hard.’ This doesn’t even scratch the surface of Beethoven’s works: There are seven other symphonies, numerous concerti, sonatas, chamber music, an opera and ‘Missa Solemnis.’ True, I don’t like ‘Missa Solemnis,’ but there is still plenty of other music to enjoy from just one classical composer. In the variety of music, there is plenty for the ear of all tastes to enjoy, from the thundering emotionalism of the Romantic period to the pristine and clean lines of the Classical to the intellectual delight of Baroque and the otherworldly sounds of the Medieval and Modern. Provided you avoid the sub-optimal and overtly bad specimens, like those performed by the Boondocks Out-of-Tune Philharmonic, classical music stirs the emotions, sharpens the intellect, and bathes one in a heavenly glow. So I challenge you, listen to ‘The Nutcracker Suite’ or something similar this holiday season. You might enjoy it. After all, in the words of Shakespeare: ‘The’ man that hath no music in himself, nor is not moved with concord of sweet sounds, is fit for treasons, stratagems and spoils.’ E-mail Mark at [email protected].