‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Kathryn Lucas is not a stranger to death. ‘ ‘ ‘ She watched her friend die in a… ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Kathryn Lucas is not a stranger to death. ‘ ‘ ‘ She watched her friend die in a tragic boat accident when she was 16, and not more than a year later, she herself was declared dead at the scene after being forced through the windshield during a head-on car collision.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ Now, at the age of 38, she has crept back into those memories of her teen years and transferred them to the page for others to read. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘The title speaks for itself,’ said Lucas about her new book in a phone interview with The Pitt News. ‘It is what it is ‘mdash; you can dwell on things or you can try to actually live with the past, look at it in an optimistic way and move forward.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ The memoir tells the tale of an unusual life, one of ups and downs, but the downs are the kind that few have the courage to reveal to the public.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ Lucas might seem positive about these events now, but it took many years to physically and mentally overcome the trauma. She blamed herself for her friend’s death because she feels she did not speak up quickly enough, and her distorted external image after the car accident only worsened the situation. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘Every time I looked in the mirror, I saw a monster,’ she said. ‘I wore big hats to cover my face and baggy clothes, and I just became asocial.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ The photo of Lucas wearing only a handful of flowers on the cover of ‘It Is What It Is’ could appear a bit risky for someone with body image issues, but Lucas said the photo has nothing to do with vanity. She explained that it all began with a dare in which she had to take pictures of herself, in hopes that she would then see her beauty. It was upon seeing one particular picture, the photo on the book’s cover, that Lucas realized she had no reason to hide herself. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘When I looked at [the photographs], I was stunned. I didn’t think I was worth anything or worthy of attention from a guy until I saw that photo, it changed my life.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ Though she was able to create a new self image, the guilt over her friend’s death has never really left.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘I go through life and I believe that I’m partially responsible,’ she explained. ‘I now speak up for the innocent, perhaps when I shouldn’t ‘mdash; I’m the person who will run on the street and stop a fight and end up getting stabbed.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ Lucas received a degree in architecture from Auburn University, ended up getting an MBA from the University of Pennsylvania and then moved to New York City to pursue a dream job in real estate development. She ended up leaving the job in 2007 to put all of her concentration into the book, but stayed in New York City because of its applicability to her current goals. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘There’s no better place to be to accomplish what I need to. I could walk down Fifth Avenue naked to get attention if I need to, but I’m not quite there yet,’ she said with a laugh. ‘ ‘ ‘ Lucas went into the book thinking that her audience would at least find excitement in the intensity of her past and maybe be inspired by her courage to tell the tale. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘It’s what I’m striving to do,’ said Lucas. ‘People have said, ‘Thank you because I now feel better about what I have encountered, and I’m not the only who has been there.” ‘ ‘ ‘ The feedback is not always good, though. Lucas said that her relationship with her parents has suffered because they disagree with her choice to write the book. Also, the other people involved in the boat accident will have to be reawakened to the details of that day that they probably want to forget.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘I was taking my skeletons out of the closet along with other people’s skeletons, and some people didn’t want their skeletons taken out,’ she said. ‘I have sympathy for the people who disagree with the book because that just means that can’t move on from the past.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ According to Lucas, the hardest part was not the writing, but the knowledge that writing the book would inevitably hurt people. She went into the memoir with no formal writing experience, and she acted as her own editor for most of the process. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘I dove … I did a double, triple-twisted dive,’ she said. ‘And I dove by myself.’