Baseball keeps swinging toward the Olympics

By Adam Littman

It’s a little known fact, but originally people didn’t come to the United States for religious… It’s a little known fact, but originally people didn’t come to the United States for religious freedom, but because wondrous stories of a game had spread across the pond. Oh yes, this game took a few hours to finish. It involved a tiny ball with stitches that was thrown at a you while you used a stick to try whacking it as far as you could. But watch out, there are nine fielders trying to catch the ball. You could spit on the ground with everyone watching you. It was magical. Of course, it’s also a little known fact because it’s made up. But that doesn’t diminish the game of baseball. What does diminish it is the fact that it’s not going to be in the 2012 Olympics in London. Baseball first became a medal sport in the 1992 Olympics, and its exclusion from the London games marks the first time since 1936 that a sport was cut from the Olympics. In 1936 it was polo, which was most likely because of the Great Pony Shortage. Softball, which debuted in the 1996 Olympics, is also out of the 2012 games. The two sports made pitches last week for inclusion in the 2016 games. Baseball and softball, along with golf, karate, rugby, roller sports and squash are vying for two open spots in 2016. International Baseball Federation president Harvey Schiller led a group of six in the hour-long presentation to the International Olympic Committee. Baseball is also trying to garner support for its case by handing out plastic bracelets, similar to Lance Armstrong’s ‘Live Strong’ bracelets, that read ‘I am baseball.’ Well, International Baseball Federation, that’s an interesting way to go about things. I accept your challenge and shall now make your case as ‘baseball.’ Do you guys know who I am? I’m baseball. I was ‘America’s pastime.’ People came over on the Mayflower just to play me. I see you met my friend Mr. Schiller. He’s a great guy, right? A little slimy, but hey, since I’m used to Scott Boras, he’s fine with me. His key issue on my behalf was ensuring players from Major League Baseball would compete in the games. You guys want big names, huh? Wrong move. The Summer Olympics take place over the summer, shockingly. So does the MLB season. That’s a bit of a quandary, no? ‘ But the Winter Olympics cause the NHL to put its season on hold for about three weeks every time it rolls around. Then again, 2010 seems to be the last time the NHL is going to allow its players to compete in the Olympics, because it not only stops the season, but teams lose money and risk injury to star players. Plus, even if the players aren’t hurt, they’re pretty tired after the Olympics. If the MLB was shut down for two weeks it would push the World Series back to the middle of November. Unless teams in warm cities or with stadiums with roofs made the World Series, that might be a problem. I know a lot of people weren’t happy with me a few weeks ago with the way Game 5 of the World Series played out. Because of rain, MLB Commissioner Bud Selig stopped the game in the sixth inning and continued it the next night. Well, the next night it rained, so they played the night after. What’s wrong with a cliffhanger? Who shot J.R.? Who’s going to win the second half of Game 5? Works for me. And if the World Series was taking place in the middle of November, I think we’d get a lot more of these games that span multiple days. What Schiller said is that major leaguers competing in the Olympics would only cause a three- or four-day delay in MLB action. He said this can happen if Major Leaguers only play in the medal rounds. Of course, the games that count get the stars. Now, just because those stars didn’t help in getting to the medal round shouldn’t hamper your decision. Who cares if the teams competing to win medals are composed of nearly all different players than the teams from the earlier rounds? Let the kids play to earn the right to medal, then let the big boys step in. They’re just good-for-nothing kids, anyway. That way everyone is happy. Well, everyone except for the guys who played in the preliminary rounds. But if they were so good they would be in the majors and allowed to play in the medal rounds. Another issue the IOC has with me is the length of my games. So what Schiller proposed to do is change up the format a little bit. Once the game reaches the 11th inning, each team will start out with runners on first and second base and can lead off with any player in the lineup it wants. Wait, what? That’s a horrible idea. Does he know that I’m baseball? I built this country. Screw the Olympics. If the only way they want me is to change up my rules Little League-style then it’s not worth it. Instead, I’ll just watch that World Baseball Whatever It’s Called in March. Close enough.