Enough of the heavy stuff. In the immortal words of Kramer, ‘Who wants to have some fun?’ –… Enough of the heavy stuff. In the immortal words of Kramer, ‘Who wants to have some fun?’ — Reggie Bush is out for several weeks after having knee surgery, leaving all the carries for Deuce McAllister and now Pierre ‘Escargot’ Thomas ‘mdash; so essentially leaving all the carries for McAllister. Word is that Kim Kardashian and McAllister exchanged this text convo upon completion of the surgery: KimK: What time? Deuce2: What time what? KimK: What time r u coming over 2nite? Half price nite at the rifle club … my folks never get home b4 12. Deuce2: I visited Reggie today. KimK: This aint about Reggie. It’s about u and me. Things change Deuce. U r the starting RB now. Hah! That was also the Sports Movie Quote Trivia Question of the Day! That’s actually the exchange (well, almost) between Darcy and Mox in the parking lot after Lance goes down with, coincidentally, a knee injury in ‘Varsity Blues.’ Vintage James Van Der Beek, who can be seen recently in such smash hits as ‘Final Draft,’ and ‘Eye of the Beast.’ Dawson’s Creek has indeed run dry. — Steve Spurrier and the SEC have found that referee Wilbur Hackett Jr. did nothing wrong when he forearmed and knocked down South Carolina quarterback Stephen Garcia. Not true. Arm tackling is unforgivable. So is being tackled by a ref, for that matter. — Tell me I’m not the only one who feels a pit of uncertainty in his stomach when stepping into one of the Cathedral elevators. — Heisman Trophy dark horse: Rutgers, which is looking more like the Rutgers you and I grew up with. — Ichiro’s in for the World Baseball Classic, probably because he wants to know what it feels like to play for a baseball team again. — Speaking of baseball, Jose Canseco’s tragic breakdown, despite all of his shenanigans over the years, has kind of been hard to watch. But you know what won’t be? The fight between him and Danny Bonaduce in the Celebrity Boxing Federation. Juiceman better watch out, though. Bonaduce is no Danny Partridge. He’s already owned Donny Osmond and Barry Williams (you know, Greg Brady) in the ring, and we all know what kind of stud athlete Greg Brady was. What did he do, like 18 chin-ups that one time? — ProElite, Inc., the company built around the mixed martial arts circuit EliteXC, is out of business. That’s what happens when your meal ticket is a guy who got famous fighting random thugs in his backyard. I mean, you don’t see me or my buddies signing professional dart contracts, do you? — A new feature this week ‘mdash; my weekly rankings, where anything goes. First-place votes in parentheses: Stewie (1) Johnny Drama Chase Mos Def and Talib Kweli (arguably 1, 2 and 3 … get it?) LeSean McCoy Road trips Also receiving votes: Chipotle Dropped from the rankings: People who mispronounce Chipotle — Chiefs running back Larry Johnson is being investigated for allegedly spitting a drink in a woman’s face at a nightclub. Hey, got to make the headlines somehow, huh? Am I right? Am I right? — Meanwhile Hines Ward won’t be fined for cracking Keith Rivers’ jaw with a block in the Steelers’ game against the Bengals last week. Phew. Well, even if he were fined, here’s what he had to say to ESPN about it: ‘I’m not doing anything illegal. It was a clean hit. I didn’t stand over the guy or anything … I’m not going to change my ways. If they’re going to keep fining me for that, then I’m going to get fined all year.’ I love Hines Ward. E-mail Pat at [email protected]