‘ ‘ ‘ In these troubled times, when the United States must once again confront an autocratic… ‘ ‘ ‘ In these troubled times, when the United States must once again confront an autocratic Russia on the world stage, it gives me great comfort to know that if the Republicans win the White House this year, there will be an expert on Russian affairs right down the hall from the Oval Office. ‘ ‘ ‘ I’m not speaking of Condoleezza Rice, whose doctoral work concentrated on Eastern European studies, but rather Gov. Sarah Palin, who as commander-in-chief of the Alaskan National Guard, has guarded our first line of defense against Russian invasion for the last two years. ‘ ‘ ‘ Palin may never have met Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin ‘mdash; or any head of state ‘mdash; but she can see Russia from Alaska on a cloudless day. That’s good enough for Sen. John McCain, who incidentally is a war hero. ‘ ‘ ‘ Palin’s close contact with, and strong personal knowledge of, the Kremlin may be reassuring, but her personal relationship with God is even more of an asset to both the Republican Party and the nation. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Palin asked the congregation at her former Pentecostal church to pray that ‘our national leaders are sending U.S. soldiers on a task that is from God.’ She went on to say, ‘That’s what we have to make sure we’re praying for, that there is a plan and that plan is God’s plan.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ This direct line that Palin shares with an omnipotent being can only come in handy at the White House. Should we bomb Iran? Ask God, he’ll know. Raise or cut taxes? Odds are that God has a plan for taxation. If only God would give our national leaders the task of ending hunger instead of killing Iraqis. ‘ ‘ ‘ Indeed, looking at Palin’s record as mayor and governor, I have to say that she’s done a heckuva job executing divine policy. Nothing says spiritual like attempting to remove books from libraries that teach children that homosexuals are people or supporting the teaching of creationism in schools because one shouldn’t ‘be afraid of information.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ There are really no drawbacks to Palin’s faith-based social policies. The whole ‘teaching abstinence rather than safe sex in schools’ thing worked out especially well.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ One thing that I am worried about is that Palin is a little too well-traveled. Having traveled to Kuwait, Germany, Canada and Mexico, Palin is conclusively the best-traveled female vice presidential candidate from Alaska in this nation’s history. ‘ ‘ ‘ But at this time in our history we do not need a leader ‘mdash; or vice leader ‘mdash; who understands the world around them and who brings perspective to their position. Calvin Coolidge never traveled to Kuwait and was probably the most successful Republican VP-turned-president of all time. ‘ ‘ ‘ So what if she didn’t know what the Bush Doctrine was? From the reaction in the media you’d think that the Bush Doctrine had been the guiding force behind American foreign policy for the last six years. ‘ ‘ ‘ Then the press called her inexperienced. But need I remind the reader that Palin was not only the mayor of a town of 6,000 but also the governor of a state with a population of 600,000 people and 950,000 caribou? That’s one-fifth of all the caribou in the world, by the way. ‘ ‘ ‘ Governing a state with a population of more than 1.5 million has given Palin all the experience she needs to campaign against two senators whose wasteful spending on earmarks has brought this country to financial and military ruin in the past seven years. ‘ ‘ ‘ But enough about Palin haters, let’s get back to the candidate herself. ‘ ‘ ‘ In an op-ed published in The New York Times, Palin correctly wrote that ‘polar bears are magnificent animals, not cartoon characters.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ This is true: Polar bears, like other bear species, are not cartoon characters. The fact that Palin was willing to stand up to the big-money interests that supported listing the polar bear as a threatened species is impressive. ‘ ‘ ‘ It takes a lot of gumption, leadership and governing acumen to be able to tell people when animals are and ‘mdash; more importantly ‘mdash; are not cartoons. ‘ ‘ ‘ So here’s to you, Sarah Palin. May fog never cloud your view of Russia, may God always tell you of his plans, and may you never have to speak to a more competent member of the press corps than Charlie Gibson. Understand the difference between cartoons and wildlife? E-mail Giles at [email protected].