“Everything is Wrong With You” The Modern Woman’s Guide to Finding Self-Confidence Through Self-Loathing Wendy Molyneux TOW Books

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Wendy Molyneux’s “Everything Is Wrong With You” is classified as a humorous self-help book, yet somehow, it manages to be neither humorous nor helpful.

In a parody on the ridiculous magazine articles that help women fix problems they didn’t even know they had, Molyneux addresses beauty, fashion, sex, work and marital issues with chapter titles like “You Look Terrible” and “You Will Never Get Married.”

She claims women can only find self-confidence through disempowerment, so the book details quite literally everything that is wrong with you, the female reader.

In one section, Molyneux explains the importance of having a fashionable eating disorder and which color wedding gown the reader should choose if she is a chronic masturbator. She offers quizzes, too, at the end of each chapter to check up on one’s self-loathing progress and “letters” from celebrities offering “advice.”

The letters could have sparked a few laughs, but in most cases Molyneux fails to capture the voice of the celebrity she is imitating. Tyra Bank’s letter, however, did succeed in mocking her over dramatic tone and intense enthusiasm to create a mildly amusing page.

Additionally, Molyneux puts forth thought-provoking questions like: “Are your toes weird? I’m not saying they are, but are they?” and “What if you’ve always had a lazy eye and nobody ever told you?”

Even if you’re a knockout, another girl with plumper lips may run off with your man. Jennifer Aniston is Molyneux’s prime example of this.

There is a bit of truth to the whole pessimistic premise of the book: Much of the beauty industry peddles products that remedy “flaws” in the average woman’s appearance.

While “Everything is Wrong With You,” does illustrate the issues women face, and the emphasis the media puts on physical perfection, this book contains 182 pages devoid of factual or helpful information.

The “glossaries” of scientific and financial terms that Molyneux sarcastically includes within the book are just garbage and a bit of a snooze.

With a little more research and creativity, Molyneux could have written a humorous self-help book on this subject while offering legitimate advice.

At times, Molyneaux is incredibly inappropriate and politically incorrect. Most semi-intelligent women will find her eighth grade-boy-humor juvenile and undeveloped.

If she would have shortened it to a longer magazine article, keeping only the funnier bits, her idea might’ve been salvaged. But an entire book written in this style loses the readers attention, and frankly, wastes her time.

The only redeeming quality in the book is that throughout Molyneux seems to acknowledge the fact that she is crazy and also unqualified to author a self-help book.

In short, nothing is wrong with you-but everything is wrong with this book.