Hi, I’m Anton Skerl, and this is Billy Mays.

You know him. You’ve seen him on television…. Hi, I’m Anton Skerl, and this is Billy Mays.

You know him. You’ve seen him on television. You know his products. You’ve probably bought some OxiClean and Easy Off Bam! to help clean the raging cesspool that is your bathroom. At least I have. Who knew small freshmen could hold so much digestive material?

But you should know that by purchasing said products, you’re funding all that is deceptively evil, albeit brilliant, about the advertising industry. “Got Milk?” and “Priceless” can’t hold a stick to this guy.

To get down to how he works, the old adage “Know thine enemy” comes to play. So to properly pick on Billy, we should get to know him. It’s easy. He’s at that point in his career when he has his own Wikipedia page.

Born in McKees Rocks, Pa., back in 1958, Billy Mays started selling products and hanging out with professional salesmen after high school. Soon enough, he was touring the country and attending various auto shows and state fairs. All the while he had been grooming himself to become the selling machine that we know today. Not sure when the beard came, though.

Then in 1993, during a home show hosted in Pittsburgh, he became friends with rival salesman Max Appel (awww