How can anybody live until A-Rod is signed?

By ADAM LITTMAN

There are times when I love sports and other times when I can’t stand them.

Right now,… There are times when I love sports and other times when I can’t stand them.

Right now, I’m angry with sports.

There is something awful going on right now, and it should require the attention of everyone. Yet when I turn on my TV, I see sports going on like all is well, and nobody seems to care.

Does anyone else realize that Alex Rodriguez is without a team?

This is beyond tragic. This is catastrophic on a national level. I’m talking canceling classes and stopping other sporting leagues from continuing until this is resolved.

How dare David Stern and Roger Goodell think they could overshadow a teamless A-Rod with their petty leagues. Kudos to Gary Bettman for stopping the NHL from playing until this is all settled though.

Here’s a man, a great man, who is unemployed, and all we as fans can do is think about basketball and football? I for one won’t stand for it, and have revoked any interest I would normally give to other sports at this time of the year until A-Rod has a new team.

It’s crazy to think he lasted longer than a minute as a free agent. Who wouldn’t want the greatest athlete in the history of the world on their team?

He’s obviously a great talent on the field, but he brings so much more to a franchise. He comes with a slight price tag, but imagine how much a team must make up for it through his merchandise. Not only will his jerseys sell, but a team can market anything around him: hair dye, hair gel, hats, anything.

And he comes with no baggage.

He doesn’t flaunt his money around, especially in the jewelry department like many of his peers. If you look closely, you’ll notice his hands are free from anything flashy, like a ring.

He supports local business, when he’s in his hometown and when he goes on the road. You could say he’s helped put a few lucky young ladies through college, possibly.

And he’s a family man. His wife Cynthia is a stadium regular and will always be respectful of those around her, especially the younger ones.

The issue that seems to be slowing down the process of signing A-Rod is his contract. He reportedly wanted $350 million from the Yankees, as a starting point. It seems hefty, but after reading a little bit more I realized that would be spread out over the course of a few years. At first, I thought it was for one season, which is a lot, but not unjustifiable.

But he’s supposedly only looking for somewhere in the area of about $30 million a season. One can’t really put a price on a winning smile, but if you could, I’d have this as quite a deal for the team who lays out the money.

Recently Curt Schilling resigned with the Red Sox for $8 million for one season, with an additional $5 million in incentives. The contract gives Schilling $3 million of the incentives based on performance and $2 million if he passes six random monthly weigh-ins.

Schilling also turns 41 next week and pitches once every five days, usually about six or seven innings. A-Rod is 32, plays everyday and usually all nine innings, unless the manager takes him out early because he’s lead his team to such a large lead.

So based on that, shouldn’t A-Rod make about five times Schilling? He’s going to play about five times more than Schilling every week. I personally am all for A-Rod making $40 million a year, and I think we should throw in some incentives, too.

A-Rod doesn’t need incentives based on performance because unlike most other players, he’s going to go out and play his hardest everyday for the sake of the team. He wants to win, he doesn’t care about money.

He does deserve the chance to earn some extra money through other incentives, though.

He should earn $1 million every time he looks directly into the camera in center field while rounding the bases after a homerun. He usually does this and points at the camera smiling, or just shrugs. It’s a wonder he hasn’t had a guest spot on “The Office” yet.

Every time he causes an infielder to drop a popup by yelling something out, he should earn $3 million, because that’s pretty hard to do.

If a team can’t promise that to A-Rod, I think he should sit at least half a season, like Roger Clemens. Then A-Rod should start signing weekly contracts with teams who are already in first place, and then lead them well into the first round of the playoffs.

If I had to predict the future for A-Rod, I think he goes down as the greatest athlete ever, and they name the regular season MVP award after him, like the Cy Young award. The only difference, they’ll name the MVP award in every league after A-Rod.

That’s the greatness at stake right now America, so join me in my boycott of all activity until this modern marvel has a home.