Driving back from North Carolina last weekend, a friend and I kept looking up at these long… Driving back from North Carolina last weekend, a friend and I kept looking up at these long metal poles stretching across the highway. Looking like the love child of a light post and a limbo stick, neither of us could figure out what it was. Finally, in between power ballads, the driver caught a glimpse of one from the other direction and noticed a small box that we hadn’t seen before. It was a camera.

From that, we figured out what this strange thing did. Instead of having cops on the side of the roads to pull speeders over, these sensors caught fast drivers and took pictures of their license plates. The police department is then able to issue citations through the mail. This is a similar system to the cameras put on EZ Pass lanes and some traffic lights across the country, catching people who decide not to stop.

This method of law enforcement, despite all the 1984 allusions it may conjure up, does happen to be legal. But, and you can ask any draft-dodger or unintentional rear-ender out there if you don’t agree, legal doesn’t always mean fair.

Sneaking by a cop is a victory, getting a ticket is a failure. There is a fine line between the two outcomes, but that line has always been human. Maybe the guy right ahead of us was driving a lot faster. Maybe the cop blinked or just wasn’t paying attention. Maybe he was having a really bad day and wanted to take it out on anybody going two miles per hour above the speed limit. Whether it helped you or not, the human elements of speeding tickets create a more level playing field and let drivers debate over risk versus reward.

But if they start putting these cameras up everywhere, the whole sport of it is gone. You can’t sweet talk a machine. You can’t tell it that you will never do it again. You can’t calmly explain to it that you are on the way to the hospital to deliver a baby and didn’t want to be late. They’re just cameras, no microphones, and they do not have the ability to use reason or discretion.

A friend of mine once got caught going over 120 mph in his truck on the highway. A real, human police officer saw him and tried to pull him over. Fearing the evident repercussions, and apparently thinking he was in Hazard County, Ga., instead of Westchester County, N.Y., my friend decided to outrun him, driving even faster than what he was originally requested to pull over for. With the cop no longer in his rearview window, he pulled off the next exit with a feeling of victory, only to find a roadblock waiting for him.

While he wasn’t happy about getting caught, he had to tip his hat to his worthy defeater. He didn’t win, but at least he got a chance to make it interesting. Not only wouldn’t the camera have given him a chance to do that, it also wouldn’t have eventually slowed him down, since he wouldn’t have known what was happening.

If states want to take money from citizens going from Point A to Point B, we might as well make them work for it. I mean, if they can use machines to catch bad drivers, what’s next? Parking meters that print out a fine the second your money runs out? Jaywalking sensors that glue your feet to the pavement until the authorities arrive? Automated security systems that lock you up if you steal some of your friend’s French fries when he’s not looking? This madness needs to stop before it is too late.

Sure, a law is a law, but is it too much to ask for at least a fighting chance? Everybody breaks the rules once in a while – I’m looking at you, Martha Stewart – so why not let us get away with it once in a while?

I’ve had a long-running argument similar to this one with a group of friends. We used to fight all the time over whether or not the sports world should get more technological. What if footballs had sensors that were triggered when they passed the goal line? What if baseball used a system of magnets, lasers and car alarms to determine whether or not a runner beat out a throw to first? Would taking out the human side of officiating ruin the game, or should the ultimate goal be to get the call right, according strictly to the rule book?

I used to be pro-magnets, but I’m beginning to change my mind. If this method were used, we wouldn’t have two of the best sports moments in recent memory. Technology would have certainly called out the Rockies’ Matt Holliday for not tagging home in this years one-game playoff against the Padres, after which they made it all the way to the World Series. And I think it’s still up in the air whether or not lasers would have called Jeremy Giambi safe during Derek Jeter’s legendary backhand flip to Jorge Posada during the 2001 American League Division Series.

While San Diego and Oakland fans may not agree, I think we should leave the decision making to the people. You can’t trust machines to do everything. Just ask the guy from Transformers.

E-mail Sam at [email protected] with more rants about the legal system.