I’ve been staring at my computer screen for what feels like three hours now, trying to… I’ve been staring at my computer screen for what feels like three hours now, trying to decide what to write. What life-changing spark of wisdom can I offer the masses this week, I ponder (joking, of course). But you know what? I can’t think of anything. Because I keep getting sucked into the large, and rather detailed, mushroom embossed onto the wall above my computer.

I’m really not sure how it got there. If it were carved, that would be one thing – some prankster’s desperate desire to leave behind a legacy. And while it probably was some prankster’s desperate desire to leave behind a legacy, this mushroom is actually coming out of the wall. It’s intense.

And then I turn to my dresser, directly behind me. For inspiration, you know – not because I’m distracted. And I notice that this dresser appears to have had several giant bites taken out of it. Or maybe it was clawed at by some sort of wild hog. It’s difficult to tell. Either way, the middle drawer is covered in