Every job is different. This is obvious. There are very few similarities between, say, being a… Every job is different. This is obvious. There are very few similarities between, say, being a bartender and working landscaping. Every job plays to different strengths and characteristics, and this makes it easy to find something that suits you well and that you enjoy doing. However, there’s one thing that most jobs have in common: customers. And like it or not, sooner or later you will have to deal with them.

Dealing with the public can be a daunting task and one that not everyone is ready for. As someone who has worked multiple jobs with customer service built into the job description, I think it’s my duty to offer new job seekers a few pointers when it comes to the finer points of customer etiquette.

First, it is virtually guaranteed that at one point or another you will have to deal with someone that you don’t like. I can almost assure you 100 percent that this will occur. Whether it’s his personality, behavior, anything really, there is always going to be a person you don’t like who you’re going to have to pretend that you like anyway.

That’s the first trick to being a good employee: pretending. Just like sometimes you have to pretend that you like your job, you often have to pretend that you like the customers. Even if they treat you like hell, send you on ridiculous errands, don’t tip or any other of a million unimaginable crimes against you and your happiness, just put on a cheery face and rant about them later.

Second, and this kind of goes along with the first, is that the other person is always right. While this isn’t necessarily, or even often, true, it’s a good rule of thumb to follow for keeping yourself out of trouble. A more general rule would be “don’t argue with the people who pay you,” but sometimes that just doesn’t cover it. You not only have to not argue, you have to satisfy these people at least temporarily, until your boss can come out and argue with them properly. Make sure you hang around for that part, as it’s usually worth watching your supervisor embarrass a guest and walk away smiling. Indeed, that’s an extremely helpful tactic in itself: Pretending you don’t know the answer or solution to a problem and handing it off to your boss for them to deal with. Basically, learn to feign ignorance convincingly.

You should also come up with a good couple of general conversation lines that are easy to work into conversations and make you seem friendly and informative. Nobody likes dealing with employees who are silent and sulky, but neither does anyone like pesky, overly talkative help either. Always have a couple of good lines on hand with basic info about yourself, like where you’re from or what you’re studying. This will make you seem approachable but not over-eager. Strike for an even balance between friendly and deferent.

Another useful skill to master, but one that also takes a bit of practice and experience, is being able to anticipate your customers’ needs so you can take care of them before they ask you about them, and thereforeavoid a potential conflict. For example, I work in a hotel and people often have trouble with the same sorts of things, such as figuring out their Internet or how to work the TV remotes.

So whenever I get a call about a certain type of problem, I anticipate what I’ll need and plan accordingly. So if someone’s remote isn’t working I know to grab a few AA batteries and a codebook to program the remote. This lets me avoid having to run all over the place gathering things up and also makes it easier on the guests because I’m more prepared, therefore saving them time and agitation towards me.

Finally, and this is another one of those virtual guarantees, you will eventually have to deal with someone or a group of “someones” who you can’t believe are even still alive because of how mind-bogglingly stupid they are.

People who can’t figure out why they can’t get this side with this dish or insist, despite all evidence to the contrary, that you serve breakfast until 11 a.m. instead of 10 a.m. and they want their hash browns right now no matter what. In situations like this, it’s best just to take a deep breath and calm yourself down because there’s very often no way to reason with these people. Deal with them as quickly and as efficiently as possible. It can be annoying and sometimes downright infuriating, but just stay cool and move on with life. If worst comes to worst, you can always go home and rant about it later.

And if you’re a customer, try to be nice to the people who are taking care of you. We’re people, too, you know, and if you’re not careful we’ll put soap in your food and disconnect your fuse box. Thanks.

Email Richard at [email protected] for more advice on dealing with morons