While lying by the swimming pool, basking in the overcast Pennsylvania sunlight, I have very… While lying by the swimming pool, basking in the overcast Pennsylvania sunlight, I have very little to do, and this typically leads to a lot of time spent inside my own mind. A small amount of time in this dark place brings thoughts about short term plans, goals and television viewing. But after 10 or 15 minutes, I have mentally exhausted interest in these menial things, and I delve deeper into my conscious, considering things not often considered. And, until I once again lie in the comfort of South Oakland, these thoughts will remain.

Mostly, I think about those things that really put our place in the world into perspective. I think about things that are oftentimes not considered but perhaps should be. I’m not talking about wondering why men have nipples or belly buttons. I’m talking about things that go a level deeper.

For example, what is the dude-you’re-getting-a-Dell-kid doing right now? Is he flipping through a scrapbook, reminiscing about the time when he was on top? Does he own a Dell computer, even now?

Think about every celebrity on earth. Of all the TV and film personalities, every one has at least one really big fan. Do you remember DJ Qualls? You know: “The New Guy.” Well, there is at least one person whose favorite actor is DJ Qualls. Out of 300 million Americans, how many do you think own the entire DJ Qualls DVD set?

What if Neanderthals survived? And I don’t mean like in the Geico commercials. What if they mated with Cro Magnons? I mean, honestly, haven’t you ever looked at a person’s face and decided that they pretty much have to be the descendents of Neanderthals?

I wonder if there are people who actually think the United States belongs to Sean Hannity.

What is the most used clich