Earlier this year, a friend of mine who was a teacher’s assistant for a freshman studies… Earlier this year, a friend of mine who was a teacher’s assistant for a freshman studies class asked me to participate in a panel with other involved students about the different activities available at Pitt. I went to the panel and nervously rambled about organizations I’m familiar with or have been a part of – mostly music groups and political organizations or publications. The students listened patiently while I spoke, blinked once or twice, and then used my Q’A time to ask the guy who worked at the radio station more questions.

And who can blame them? Political journalism isn’t exactly the sexiest of hobbies, and choir definitely isn’t for everyone. So, what authority do I have to advise anyone on their college career? The short answer is that I don’t have any. I’m just one of thousands who, like you, escaped the bleak internment that was high school to attend college in Pittsburgh. In a few short years, you’ll be in the same place I am, with your own set of experiences to draw from and own ideas – or lack thereof – about how other people can make the most of their time here.

My personal experience has been very different from what I’m sure yours will be, so why should you listen to me? In truth, you probably shouldn’t. You should trust yourself and use your own judgment. I can only offer a few ideas that I think could apply to many people. My genuine hope is that you create your own experience, and figure these things out for yourself. Here they are:

1. Get to know the city. Maybe you’re from Philly and you think Pittsburgh is the lamest place this side of the Mississippi, or maybe (like me) you’re from some sleepy rural town where “hunting” is legitimately considered a fifth season and the biggest news is who got a DUI last weekend. No matter where you come from, you haven’t seen anything like Pittsburgh. The city, which was recently named the “Most Livable” city in America by the Places Rated Almanac, is so full of interesting history and culture, and a bunch of little neighborhoods, each with their own unique flavors. You owe it to yourself – and your new city – to get familiar. So go to a Pirates game. Visit the art galleries on Penn Avenue. Listen to Modey Lemon or Girl Talk (or, I guess, The Clarks, if you’re into that), and read Michael Chabon’s “The Mysteries of Pittsburgh.” This city has its own character, and I suspect that the more you explore it, the more you’ll appreciate it. That’s something you have to do on your own, though.

2. Don’t take things too personally. It took me until fairly recently to understand this, but it’s an important lesson to learn. The good news about friendships and relationships in college are that they aren’t as dramatic as they were in high school – but the bad news is, people are still growing and changing, and relationships are likely to wax and wane more quickly than you can imagine. Don’t spend too much time worrying about why a relationship didn’t work out or being angry at another for their perceived failings. Remember, everyone is trying to figure themselves out right now. Often, we spend too much time wondering what the other person thinks about us, when really, it isn’t about us at all. That wise old sage, Vanessa Williams, said it best, I think, in a recent issue of More Magazine: “In our twenties and thirties, we take things too seriously, with our girlfriends, our boyfriends, then our husbands and our coworkers. Ninety percent of the time, if someone trashes you, it has nothing to do with you. You have learned a big lesson when you can finally stop thinking, ‘Why didn’t they call?’ and instead say, “Wow, guess that person is having a bad day.'” The sooner we learn this, the better.

3. Don’t miss out on any opportunities. This one seems obvious, but in case you aren’t struck with urgency, let me remind you: You’re in college. This is the rare time in your life where you’re capable of making adult decisions without all of the responsibility, so don’t waste your time denying yourself the things you’ve always wanted to do. Study film because you love it. Take Japanese because you think it’ll sound cool. Accidentally kiss your friend sometime. (Note: Please make sure he is down for this; I am not responsible for any sexual harassment charges!) Involve yourself in an activist group you will scoff at a few years from now when you’re jaded. Take impromptu road trips. Skip class to hang out Downtown for the day. In short, act like you have all the freedom and opportunity in the world, because you do.

But don’t take my word for it. Figure this stuff out on your own.

Tell Marin how to live her life at [email protected].