Editor’s note: This story appeared as part of The Pitt News 2007 April Fools’ edition. It is… Editor’s note: This story appeared as part of The Pitt News 2007 April Fools’ edition. It is a work of fiction produced solely for entertainment value.

John Doe 2 stared forlornly at the door to his room. It was 2 p.m., and the newest member of the household hadn’t woken up yet.

“So I took the key and used the ‘Clone-O-Matic,'” Doe 2 said. “It was the original that promised to stay away, and I needed help cleaning up the mess we had made.

“I never thought it would come to this,” Doe 2 said. “Now I know how the other Doe feels.”

“If this clone is any indication of how lazy a clone I am, then I must be a really lazy clone,” Doe 2 said as he heard the alarm go off yet again, and Doe 3 hit the snooze for the ninth time.

“A really lazy clone,” Doe 2 repeated.

The original John Doe could not be reached for comment.