Nobody knows everything about rock ‘n’ roll. Believe me, I’ve been trying for years. It’s… Nobody knows everything about rock ‘n’ roll. Believe me, I’ve been trying for years. It’s just too hard.

But don’t fret: I’m going to let you in on a secret. You can act like a rock scholar – and get away with it! – without actually knowing it all.

Now don’t think this will be easy – being a rock ‘n’ roll know-it-all is tough. It takes dedication, hard work and, of course, an innate aversion to hair metal.

I’ve constructed a how-to guide for aspiring music nerds. It’s all here: a step-by-step instruction manual, in no particular order, to becoming the indie, emo, scenester, hipster or other classification of rock nerd you know you can be. Just add pretension!