You’ve got four years: be selfish

By ANNIE TUBBS

Two summers ago, I was talking with three of my friends from high school, and we were… Two summers ago, I was talking with three of my friends from high school, and we were debating a very important subject: maintaining a relationship or moving to the single life.

To paraphrase the result of the conversation, one of my friends said that her mother had told her that this is the only time in her life she’d get to be selfish.

I mulled over this “selfishness” possibility for a very long time. Selfishness seemed very foreign to me. I’d spent the majority of my life being very unselfish. I’d always put my family before myself, I sang and danced with my high school’s show choir in churches, soup kitchens and shelters across Western Pennsylvania.

I know, I’m not exactly Mother Teresa, but I was pretty altruistic in those days.

Americans, in general, frown on selfishness. It’s all about “helping your fellow man” and “doing what’s right” and things like that. It just feels morally wrong to admit that you’re selfish.

So a little more than a year ago, I decided to adopt this “selfish” attitude and not worry so much about other people or what they think of me. I decided I would do whatever I please, whenever I please.

I’m not talking about anything terribly drastic, but I do what I want.

This includes, but is not limited to, shameless daily $5 lattes from Starbucks, eating carbohydrates late at night and other really delicious, fattening food while my metabolism can still handle it, buying a lot of shoes and purses and enjoying my fantastic relationship while I’m still young.

I hope to God my metabolism doesn’t kick out any time soon, because then I’d have to haul off and start exercising.

Lately I’ve been doing things just because they’re fun. Things that unselfish, responsible, play-by-the-book Annie never would have done.

I’m certainly not encouraging people to abuse, neglect or ignore other people for their own benefit. All I’m saying is that in these college years we have a tremendous opportunity to make something for ourselves.

We can carve out new personalities, experience new things, try new foods, switch majors three times and stay out late drinking instead of doing our homework because it’s the only time we’ll be able to get away with it.

We can go through three relationships in as many months because it’s OK to be indecisive. We, as college students, have four (sometimes five or six) years to make up our minds about things we believe in and the things that are important to us.

John Kerry was loathed for being a flip-flopper, but I’m telling you, the 18-to-24 crowd can totally get away with flip-floppery for at least four years, and you’re not going to lose much in public opinion polls.

I realized that this truly is the only opportunity I’ll have to care about no one but myself. In a little more than a year, I’m going to be shoved into the working world (I hope) and I’ll have no choice but to buckle down and do what has to be done to survive. No more late-night India Garden runs on Tuesdays.

What happens if I get married and have kids? You can’t be selfish if you have children. They’re little and helpless, and they need to be fed regularly, from what I understand.

My friend’s mother is now unselfish and wise. She allowed this information to trickle down to me, and now I’m enjoying life more than ever.

So break up with the boyfriend you’re not 100 percent sold on, go to the new cupcake store in Shadyside or Squirrel Hill and spend nearly $3 on a gourmet cupcake, ditch your “practical” yet utterly miserable major for something you actually enjoy and start living your life selfishly, because when college ends, so does your opportunity to be concerned with only yourself.

E-mail Annie at [email protected]