First impressions are formed within the first three seconds two strangers meet. So it’s no… First impressions are formed within the first three seconds two strangers meet. So it’s no surprise that they’re usually dead wrong. Yet somehow, we still manage to use our first impressions of each other as a basis for how we interact from there on out – whom we call, whom we like and dislike. An awkward comment from a classmate’s mouth in an early conversation can cause you to think of her as an awkward girl forever.

Despite the fact that we’ve all been fooled by our first impressions at some point or another, they still have value in our world. This makes no sense at all.

Embroidered on a pillow or printed onto a Dixie cup, one can find the expression, “First impressions are the most lasting” – a gentle reminder to always make a strong one. Even my psychology textbook informs me that I am more likely to pay attention to what I first learn about a person than anything else I discover down the road. The mere fact that, if we could, we’d all make excellent first impressions all the time is a dangerous sign pointing to their very importance. But first impressions should not play such a big role in our opinions.

Of course, we can’t help to form them. It’s human nature to judge, to stereotype and to generalize, which is usually how errors occur. Thus, the battle instead comes in pushing those thoughts to the back burner. We must give a real chance to unbiased second and third and maybe even fourth impressions.

Think of every time you ran into that cutie from bio while wearing your sweatpants and holding a bag of doughnuts at the 7-11. Every time you were tired and didn’t contribute more to a conversation than a weak smile. Every time you said something personal and a stranger was standing behind you.

Think of how much less troublesome life could be if you didn’t have to feel quite so embarrassed in any of those situations. If first impressions weren’t so crucial to the way we relate, we would be able to forgive each other much more easily for our slip-ups and bad days.

And the rope swings both ways. If we can accept the unreliability of first impressions, we won’t be disappointed so often when a new friend does something unexpected or backs out of an adventure.

Of course, exceptions and catches to this newfound sense of openness arise. There are times when we simply have to go by first impressions. Job interviews, first dates and meeting the parents are all good examples; in those situations, it’s a given that you’d better look and act your best. Nobody can expect your potential boss or in-laws or whomever to call back a second or third time without good reason.

There are also times where we absolutely should trust our first impressions. When we don’t pick up the phone after that creepy guy from that weird party three weeks ago calls, that’s not “placing too much faith in first impressions.” That’s trusting your gut. It’s a must.

But otherwise, we really have no right to expect accuracy from judgments formed so early on. If judgments are formed, so be it – but unless something goes terribly wrong, everyone deserves at least two or three clean slates.

And this is as much because of someone else’s bad day or nervousness as your own. Just as others change or blunder, we do, too. What initially irked you about a person may now send you into fits of giggles. And especially in an environment as diverse and drastically different as college, it’s only fair to allow for both parties to modify their likes and dislikes.

No, I cannot possibly demand that we all forget first impressions entirely, if that’s even an option. As human beings, we need a basis for figuring out who we want to hang out with or study with or bring home for Thanksgiving. We can, however, work to remember that our first impressions are probably going to be mistaken.

The best way to handle that is to give as much importance to the impressions to come. Currently, forming relationships is a matter of creating a first impression and then working to maintain or overcome it. There’s no reason for that – we should be able to create first impressions, create second impressions, and so on. Everyone deserves that.

Don’t you?

Impress Carolyn by e-mailing her at [email protected].