Holy priceless collection of Etruscan snoods, Batman! There’s an actual superhero in town…. Holy priceless collection of Etruscan snoods, Batman! There’s an actual superhero in town. Well, not in this town or on this continent. And even though I’d think the first superhero would come from Japan, where cell phones double as a multitude of other things – e.g. a utility belt – this superhero hails from the United Kingdom.

Hmm, it says in a Washington Post article that he appeared in a city not named London. Apparently, this guy is the self-appointed guardian of some place called South Shields, England – or London, England, to which it will be hereafter referred.

Basically, two cops of the L.P.D. – more commonly called the Scotland Yard – were under attack by a group of men they caught ransacking a flat. These possibly henchish assailants assailed the two policemen with chains and knives and stuff – fun fact: in the UK, guns are not allowed, even to criminals.

Fearing for their lives, the two officers valiantly fought back, but it was no use. There was just too many of them, please, someone, anyone, help them!

Not to fear – WOOSH! SMASH! – unnamed Samurai Sword Wielding Warrior to the rescue!

Seriously, some guy who wasn’t officially reported to not have been wearing a costume burst onto the scene with a katana in hand and fought off the baddies. The report doesn’t indicate if he chose to use his sword like Leonardo and avoid actual slicing of his foes in favor of stabbing the ceiling to facilitate better kicks, or like Beatrix Kiddo and declare separated limbs as her property to the audible dismay of their former owners. But he saved the police dudes.

And in his superhero-ness, after he saved the day, he vanished into a sunset and/or his Mylar bag – KAZZAM!

The article didn’t report this, but he also saved