Best Drama: “Alias”

We were willing to accept that people’s DNA could be altered so… Best Drama: “Alias”

We were willing to accept that people’s DNA could be altered so they would look and sound like someone else. We went along with it when the show jumped forward two years with no logical explanation. We were even fine when Sloane was put in charge of a super-secret division of the CIA even though he dedicated his life to working against them.

We were fine when we found out Sydney may be a Rambaldi prophecy. It was OK, but we were not willing to accept an “Alias” in which each episode could stand alone. In season four, the writers shifted from season-long storylines to self-contained episodes. Up until that point, “Alias” had cliffhangers almost every episode and the serialized format kept loyal fans coming back every week. In season four, every episode was missable because there would be a new story each week that had nothing to do with the previous week’s episode.

This season, “Alias” returned to what the viewers expected — implausible action sequences, ridiculous storylines, fake deaths, Rambaldi mumbo jumbo and disguises that consisted of a wig and a tube top. The first episode began with the “death” of Sydney’s baby’s daddy, and by the end of the first half of the season the writers effectively introduced two new characters, brought back Sydney’s mom, made Sloane evil (surprise!) and brought in one of the best villains in “Alias” history.

In the last few episodes of “Alias,” fans saw the return of evil Francie (she’s still not dead!), Vaughn (he’s not dead either!) and Sark (we never thought he was dead!). The best spy show on television finished its run with all the action, suspense and tight clothing one show can handle.

Honorable Mentions: “What About Brian”

Four cliffhangers in the season finale made all thirty viewers pray that the show gets picked up next season. Fortunately J.J. Abrams’ (“Mission: Impossible III,” “Lost” and “Alias”) name is attached, so ABC chose to ignore the fact that everyone was watching Patricia Arquette attempt to emote on “Medium” instead of watching “What About Brian.” Thanks ABC.

“Grey’s Anatomy”

Everyone watches for a reason. Good choice America, good choice.

Worst Drama: “Desperate Housewives”

After becoming an instant hit with viewers and critics, “Desperate Housewives” succumbed to the pressures of living up to the glory of the first season. With Mary Alice’s mystery solved, the writers were forced to either come up with a new mystery or reformat the show to focus solely on the lives of the main characters.

They decided to come up with a new mystery, but the new mystery doesn’t really work. Keeping a boy locked in a basement is not a mystery, it’s unfortunate. The main characters have absolutely no reason to care about what is going on in Betty Applewhite’s house. They aren’t detectives, they aren’t police officers, they’re just a group of dangerously thin women with little or no common sense.

Not only is the new “mystery” a disaster, but the characters have been pushed beyond the realm of believability. Bree isn’t uptight anymore, she’s borderline insane; Gabrielle has become literally the most selfish person in the world; Lynette doesn’t even seem to try to be a good parent; and Susan can barely walk and stutters so much that she’s bordering on a full-blown speech impediment.

The characters worked when they weren’t dominated by one specific trait. Until the writers bring the humanity and mystery back to the show, we’ll be forced to watch middle-aged skinny women parading around in tight clothing and spouting out nonsense.

Dishonorable mentions: “The O.C.”

The only good thing about the “The O.C.” is that if you don’t like a new character you just have to wait three episodes and they’ll move away or die an unreasonably horrible death.

“Heist”

Imagine “Ocean’s Twelve” minus everything that made it good, because NBC did and then they put it on the air.

Best Comedy: “The Office”

This season, “The Office” effectively wandered into “Cheers” territory with the Jim/Pam romance. While Steve Carell is put at the center of every episode, the show wouldn’t have the same appeal and heart without the constant flirting between Jim and Pam. John Krasinski and Jenna Fischer have an on-screen chemistry that’s rare, and the writers exploit it for everything it’s worth.

The writers seemed to find their tone in the second season. Carell’s Michael isn’t as obnoxious, Dwight was given a hilarious, secret office romance with Angela, the supporting characters were fleshed out a little bit more (most likely because they make up a good portion of the writing team) and the serialization of Pam and Jim’s flirting made the viewers feel like their relationship was going somewhere.

When Jim finally told Pam how he felt in the last episode of the season, it showed that the cast and the writers can pull off drama as well as comedy, and that’s what makes “The Office” a good show, not just a good comedy.

Honorable Mention: “The New Adventures of Old Christine”

CBS producing a family sitcom that doesn’t depend on irresponsible parents advising their clueless children to do something unreasonable — what is going on? Julia Louis-Dreyfus makes her comeback in a politically incorrect sitcom that’s more focused on her love life than her child’s school life. Thank you Julia, thank you.

“The Loop”

Fox put another good comedy on the air and then renewed it for a second season even though no one is watching? We know how this story ends. The episode orders get cut so Fox can say they’re committed to quality television and then it’ll be canceled by the end of the fourth season so we’ve had enough time to get attached. At least the cancellation of “Arrested Development” showed us what to expect from Fox.

Worst Comedy: “My Name is Earl”

Every episode is the same. Earl picks something to cross off his list, tries it, hits a snag, fixes it, learns a lesson and the credits role. The repetitive nature of the show detracts from the comedy. Yes, we get it, he should do nice things for people, but can we see him do something else? You can only see Jason Lee get surprised because things are harder than he thought so many times before it stops being funny.

The supporting characters are underused and get more and more lifeless with each episode. When the series started, Earl’s brother Randy was a little dim, but now it’s to the point where he should probably be in a home for his own safety. It was funny when Earl would have to explain one or two things to him an episode, but now every time Earl opens his mouth, Randy needs a two-minute breakdown of the plan. Jaime Pressly comes onscreen and screeches for five minutes and then disappears until the next episode, and Nadine Velazquez’s sole role in the show is to hang out by the pool in her bikini and say something helpful every now and then.

Earl’s name is in the title, but that doesn’t mean he has to be the only thing resembling a person in the show. In order to keep people watching, the writers have to mix up the format and make the supporting characters believable.

Dishonorable Mentions: “Crumbs”

With “Arrested Development” canceled, ABC decided to make an unfunny, ineffective rip-off. It was just kind of sad to see the writers confuse offensive and politically incorrect.

“Teachers”

It’s nice to have a show with the maturity level of “Saved by the Bell” and the writing caliber of “WWE Smackdown” (don’t try to tell yourself that show isn’t scripted, I think we’re all smarter than that).