I spent the weekend with my cousin and her boyfriend, who was visiting from out of town. After… I spent the weekend with my cousin and her boyfriend, who was visiting from out of town. After 10 minutes of talking about what would be the best belated birthday present, it finally came to me: a vibrator!

Then, the mood changed. Her boyfriend was doing a masterful job of biting his tongue, but his body language said it all. So I asked him what was wrong and he gasped, “Rose, buying her a vibrator would make me uncomfortable.” His waving hands and his raised voice indicated that what he said was merely a euphemism for what appeared to be a cocktail of anger and embarrassment.

Imagine my astonishment at thinking that I possibly couldn’t share the joy of obtaining an almost instantaneous clitoral orgasm with my cousin by offering her a replica of one of my most prized possessions. During 20 minutes of reluctant conversation on his part, we touched on issues of insecurity and fear of replacement, but he still completely rejected the idea of a vibrator. Who would have thought a harmless little toy could create such a buzz?

Why are people so touchy about vibrators? Anyone who understands the history of vibrators and the benefits of using them will cast aside unnecessary paranoia and log on to the first Web site that sells sex toys she can find. In conversing with my cousin’s boyfriend, I found that these insecurities and fears stem from the fact that a lot of people just don’t know much about vibrators. Most people who think they know the story of vibrators really have no idea.

They are not pointless if you are in a relationship – long-distance or not. They are not aimed to upstage or replace. They are experimental toys that teach women more about themselves than any video, doctor or sex education lesson could. And interestingly enough, they are also appliances.

Perhaps it will be news to many that the vibrator was introduced in America over a century ago as the fifth household appliance. The order of appliances was as follows: the toaster, teakettle, fan, sewing machine and then – gasp – the vibrator.

The book “The Technology of Orgasm ‘Hysteria,’ the Vibrator, and Women’s Sexual Satisfaction,” by Rachel P. Maines – who is also the daughter of a Pitt professor – offers an in-depth analysis of a piece of medical and sexual history that is often removed from anatomy courses and books.

She explains in the book that to treat “hysteria” or “pelvic hyperemia,” commonly diagnosed maladies at the turn of the century, doctors often used vibrators on women and called the practice “vulvular massage” to “relieve tension.”

Using a vibrator on a woman was regarded as a chore because it was perceived as a medical practice, not a sexual one. Women could purchase them from Sears catalogs, and it wasn’t an odd thing to see one sitting on a woman’s dresser alongside other feminine products.

It’s also interesting to know that the vibrators of the past were not phallic, as they often are today. They had interesting designs, some played music and they were not used for penetrative purposes. Not until they started to appear in stag films in the ’20s did society regard them as controversial. But now it seems that we are retreating to our original perspective on vibrators.

Who would have thought Wal-Mart would lead the revolution against negative sexual attitudes by adding vibrators to their inventory? It’s encouraging to see corporations headed in the right direction. But can we get a little help here, people? It’s high time we as a society stopped overreacting. Not just about vibrators, but about the most natural, intimate part of life – sex.

I know it’s not that simple. We have scripted morals that have been ingrained in us since birth. It’s extremely difficult to go against that grain, even though technology and social advancement have us living in a completely different world than before.

The key to sexual liberation is an open mind. As far as vibrators are concerned, they can be very effective for women to orient themselves with a part of their body that has a history of being foreign after the reign of stag films.

So, women, listen up – and men too, for that matter. It’s important to know that experimentation with toys, vibrating or not, is simply experimentation. Recognize when it is time to apply what you’ve learned during rehearsal for the main event. And never underestimate the power of the real thing.

Rose still plans on hooking up her cousin with an out-of-this-world sex toy, but she can’t decide which one to buy. To make recommendations, e-mail her at [email protected]. Remember: Always be safe, be smart and be savvy!