A while ago, my brother was walking by my computer in the living room. In all fairness to him,… A while ago, my brother was walking by my computer in the living room. In all fairness to him, I do have the Internet cord and a host of others running to it from a wall outlet, and it is probably a safety hazard. Still, the clumsy lummox managed to step on the Internet box and he broke off one of the wires.

I spent the next day at work wondering how I could indulge my Internet habit, and how I could find out who to call to repair my modem without looking it up online. And then, a revelation not unlike Martin Luther’s struck me, and I was humbled by the divine inspiration that had to be present. The question was not how to get the Internet fixed, but whether I even wanted it fixed at all.

I decided long ago that I spent too much time on AOL Instant Messenger, and that I wanted to cut back. And besides AIM, I have a bunch of other bad Internet habits that I have been looking to break. Overall, I spend too much time in front of this machine, and so did a lot of my friends during the school year. More often than not when I went to a friend’s room, they would be sitting at their computer.

I tried then to cut back, but it was a cold Pittsburgh winter, and with a usable computer sitting so close to my bed, it was only a matter of time before I was back for more from my world-wide friend. Fortunately, the story has a happy ending. And by happy, I mean largely irrelevant and mostly boring.

In the week since my brother kicked the modem, I still bear the unmistakable signs of addiction recovery. I have brief moments where I worry that I am going to forget something that I need to do that requires the Net. But of course, I am not so important that my online absence will be felt by any, besides that bastard who e-mails me junk mail about his penis enlargement. He will probably be wondering where my clever replies are.

Still, I can already see a noticeable difference in an average day since I decided to stop using the computer so much. First and foremost, I am more outgoing than I was when I could just rely on the box for entertainment. My friends seem more important because I now have to rely on them more instead, and this I feel is more healthy than the computer screen.

Also, my phone has become even more important. A good phone conversation, I can say without hyperbole, is a billion gazillion times better than AIM-speak, period. I even use text messages now more than I did before. Feel free to call me a weirdo at this point, because even I see similarities between typing messages on AIM and the phone. But there are subtle differences, even if they are only in my head.

It’s been months and I don’t use the Internet or the computer quite as much, and I urge all of you to join me.

Without AIM and the Internet, the two great timewasters of our generation, think about what we could get done. At least for now, the plan after I finish my work will be to do something somewhat productive. Maybe working out, or some other equally naive endeavor. But just the same, there are many other things that we could do with our downtime than sit in front of a box. Almost any activity takes us out and about, and who knows what might happen then? You could meet a future husband, or find a penny or something.

Contact Sam Morey at [email protected]. But if all goes according to plan, it will be a while before he gets back to you.