David Hasselhoff has pleaded no contest in Van Nuys, Calif., to a DUI charge stemming from a… David Hasselhoff has pleaded no contest in Van Nuys, Calif., to a DUI charge stemming from a June 5 arrest at a McDonald’s parking lot (the Knight Rider eats at Mickey D’s?!).

As part of the plea, Superior Court Judge Elizabeth Lippitt ordered the former “Baywatch” star and singing sensation to attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings twice a week for six months, pay a $390 fine and do 200 hours of community service. Hasselhoff, 52, also will be on self-supervised probation for three years and will have restricted use of his driver’s license for 90 days. According to E!Online, shortly after his arrest, the actor checked in to the same rehab center where Mary-Kate Olsen sought help for an eating disorder. He also did a stint for alcoholism at the Betty Ford Center in 2002.

WAL-MART STRIKES AGAIN

The largest retail chain to ever inhabit our galaxy is refusing to sell foul-mouthed funnyman George Carlin’s latest book, “When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?” A company representative said Wal-Mart feels the product “would not appeal to a majority of our customers” (even though it’s, um, a “best-seller”), but Carlin’s camp says it is really because the book’s cover makes fun of “The Last Supper.” (A hungry-looking Carlin is pictured sitting with the disciples in a mock rendition of the Leonardo da Vinci painting.) As always, we are grateful that Wal-Mart is protecting our morals.

LIP-SYNCHGATE, PART 2

It is not over till Elton John sings. And he has sung a tale of regret, saying he is ready to apologize to the high priestess of pop, Madonna. A good three weeks after Sir Elton charged the Mystical Mom with the mortal “sin du jour of lip-synching,” saying stars who engaged in that act “should be shot,” he tells “Entertainment Weekly” he is sorry: “I don’t want to escalate it because I like Madonna.” After all, Sir Elton is pals with Madge: “She’s been to my house for dinner,” he says, and he does not want to ruin that friendship.

Meanwhile, CBS is “really excited about footage it has showing the latest evildoer caught red-handed: “60 Minutes” veteran journalist Lesley Stahl was there on that fateful “Saturday Night Live” when Ashlee Simpson sinned in synch. The network says “the exclusive behind-the-scenes footage of the incident” will be played as part of Stahl’s hard-hitting expose of the lip-synching menace on Sunday night’s edition of “60 Minutes” (honestly, there are no better stories out there).

OLBERMANN’S PAIN

We extend our heartfelt condolences to MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann, whose wry take on the news on the underrated news magazine “Countdown” warms the cockles of our otherwise cold, black heart. K.O. had started a “Save the Tapes” pledge drive to buy tapes Andrea Mackris allegedly had containing sex talk with her boss, Bill O’Reilly. But alas, Mackris, who had accused O’Reilly of sexual harassment, reached an undisclosed settlement with the Fox News guru, who in turn dropped his extortion suit. The tapes? They will get thrown into a black hole, and K.O. and the rest of us will never hear them. Ruefully acknowledging the loss, Olbermann notes on his blog the good folks of America had pledged $175,000 for the tapes – a mere fraction of what Fox and O’Reilly are paying Mackris. (The New York Daily News guesstimates the sum to be between $2 mil and $10 mil.)

OPRAH CAR FOR SALE

Oprah Winfrey made 276 fans unutterably happy Sept. 13 when she gave them each a brand-new Pontiac G6 sedan to celebrate the season premiere of her talk show. But one fan seems keen to unload his or her gift on eBay. Billing the item as “OPRAH CAR!!! Brand New 2005 Pontiac G6! Won on Oprah Winfrey’s Wildest Dream’s episode! Fully Loaded!,” the exclamation-mark-loving seller has set the starting bid at $28,500 (Pontiac’s Web site lists the G6 GT’s base price – without some of the goodies on the Oprah model – at $23,925). As of yesterday afternoon, there were no bids.

IRELAND IS NOT ENGLAND

We thank the kind reader who wrote us to point out our ignorance. In an item about Peter O’Toole, we said the actor is English. He hails from Ireland, and he is 72 years old, not 71.

(Wire services contributed to this column.)

(c) 2004, The Philadelphia Inquirer.

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