Was Liza Minnelli cheating on David Gest – in his alleged role as her punching bag, that is?… Was Liza Minnelli cheating on David Gest – in his alleged role as her punching bag, that is? That’s what her chauffeur, M’hammed Soumayah, says in a lawsuit that claims the diva repeatedly attacked Soumayah in alcohol-fueled rages. According to the New York Post, the suit is filed under seal and seeks unspecified “money damages arising from personal injuries.”

Lawyers for both sides declined to comment to the Post. Minnelli is also being sued by Gest, who seeks $10 million and claims he has suffered irreparable nerve damage from the beatings he took from his estranged wife.

We are far too afraid of becoming the next target to make any jokes about this.

JUSTIN GOES TO THE DOGS

The delectable and multitalented Justin Timberlake, who’ll make his acting debut in the indie thriller “Edison” alongside Kevin Spacey and Morgan Freeman (it’s due out next year), has already signed to star in his second flick. According to the Hollywood Reporter, the Nick Cassavetes-helmed “Alpha Dog” will have Justin play the best friend of the drug dealer (played by Emile Hirsch) who became the youngest man ever to be on the FBI’s most-wanted list.

The flick’s name is a tad ironic. According to the New York Post, Justin may no longer be on Cameron Diaz’s most-wanted list – because he has been acting like a dog. The tab says he’s having a fling with “a lovely brunette” named Monica, 26. While Timberlake’s rep denies the affair, we shudder with dread at the thought that Cam and Justin could be headed to Splitsville. We doubt we could survive that agony.

BEN ‘ JEN SITTIN’ IN A TREE …

We hold off our angst over Justin and Cam with some sweet fluff about a relatively new couple: Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck. World Entertainment News Network reports the couple recently made a trek to Jen’s hometown of Charleston, W. Va., for that ritual every man dreads: Meeting his gal’s parents. While there, the lovebirds tried to be all casual and incognito during a “We are normal people, too” outing to see a movie. They were spotted. They signed autographs.

LOHAN DOCKET REPORT

When Michael Lohan makes news, it’s usually (bad) news with a decidedly trailer-park flavor. The latest has the father of the delectably yummy teen starlet Lindsay Lohan pleading guilty in Manhattan Criminal Court to assault charges stemming from a Dec. 8 incident, during which he punched a city sanitation worker whose truck was blocking Lohan’s car. The deal means he ain’t going to jail, but to anger-management classes. No news yet on Papa Lohan’s other bit of trouble. That’d be the “shoe incident,” during which he used footwear to beat up his brother-in-law at a family barbecue in May. Hope he takes good notes in class.

FOOL FOR THE THEATER

Veteran film actor Ed Harris is headed to Broadway – as a director. Harris, who won an Obie Award in 1983 for his portrayal of Eddie in Sam Shepard’s “Fool for Love,” will now get a chance to direct the same play for the Roundabout Theatre Company. “Fool” will open Feb. 10 at the American Airlines Theatre in New York.

(Wire services contributed to this column.)

(c) 2004, The Philadelphia Inquirer.

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