Sir Elton John, who just last month delighted a group of paparazzi in Taiwan by calling them a… Sir Elton John, who just last month delighted a group of paparazzi in Taiwan by calling them a bunch of “rude, vile pigs,” is running that mouth of his again. But this time, the targets aren’t nameless dolts, but a bold-face name. Taking the stage Monday at the British music award show the Q Awards, Sir Elton expressed surprise that Madonna had been nominated for Best Live Act.

“Since when has lip-synching been live?” he asked. “Anyone who lip-synchs in public on stage when you pay 75 pounds ($134) to see them should be shot.”

We demand a celeb boxing match to sort this one out! (Though she clearly loses out on weight by a wide margin, Madonna could easily deck the dude.) But the Mystical Mom took another route: refutation.

“Madonna does not lip-synch nor does she spend her time trashing other artists,” her rep, Liz Rosenberg, said. “She sang every note of her Reinvention tour live.”

Sir Elton does have some vindication: Madonna lost in the category to British rock band Muse.

ONE MILD CHILD

Avril Lavigne wants to prove what a wild child of a punk chick she really is. According to the New York Daily News, the 20-year-old rocker caused some mayhem and damage to a trailer she used during a New York club show last month to promote Maxim’s music issue. Before you start fondly reminiscing about those good old days when hard-partying rockers trashed four-star hotel rooms to the tune of gazillions of dollars, consider what generation we’re talking about. Apparently the damage, which included a broken cabinet, picture frame and wardrobe, is costing Lavigne $600. Yeah, that’s proof of some seriously barbaric wildness.

Meanwhile, her rep tells the Daily News, “there were a lot of people going in and out of those trailers that day.”

SPEARS’ LOVE DEN

For all the taunts and the jokes we hurl at Britney Spears, she’s the one who gets the last laugh, `cause she’s the one with the dough, and we’re the loser writing about how rich she is. The latest has the Los Angeles Times reporting that the singer has bought a $7 mil Malibu pad for her and hubby Kevin Federline. The 1.5-acre property has a pool, tennis court, gym, and of course eight bedrooms and eight baths.

Brit, whose net worth is estimated at $32 mil, is proving again what a serious money-making machine she is: Billboard says her latest single, a cover of Bobby Brown’s “My Prerogative,” has entered the charts at No. 28, making it the fourth Mainstream Top 40 hit Brit’s had this year. She’s tied with Usher as the person with the most chart debuts this year _ and for the decade. They both have 14. Meanwhile, Mr. Spears is keen on protecting his cash cow, um, wife: Brit’s bodyguards have been teaching Kev how to shoot a handgun, the New York Post says.

SERENADING SHARPTON

What does it take to get James Brown and Sean “P. Diddy” Combs to sing “Happy Birthday” to you? It wouldn’t hurt if your name were Al Sharpton. The reverend celebrated his 50th birthday Sunday with a raucous show at Harlem’s Apollo Theater, which also featured Doug E. Fresh and Foxy Brown. The former presidential candidate has a new gig: a reality show on Spike TV called “I Hate My Job.”

SICK-BAY REPORT

Fans of the Rolling Stones’ quiet, elegant and almost avuncular drummer, Charlie Watts, are breathing a sigh of relief this week. Band leader Mick Jagger told London’s Daily Mirror newspaper that Watts has triumphed over throat cancer. Watts, 63, had been undergoing chemotherapy since a malignant lump was found on his throat in June. “Charlie has had all his treatments and he’s now been cleared and is free of any illness,” Jagger said, promising a new album and a world tour with Watts: “Keith Richards and I have been writing lots of songs for the new Rolling Stones album. We haven’t booked the tour yet … but there will definitely be another one.”

(Wire services contributed to this column.)

(c) 2004, The Philadelphia Inquirer.

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