“Hello, hello, is there any Oprah out there?”

That’s the song one struggling musician is… “Hello, hello, is there any Oprah out there?”

That’s the song one struggling musician is singing this week, a tune about a lost job, prisons, Pennsylvania, and a billboard in Chicago.

Christian musician and songwriter David Joseph, of Mayfield, Pa., near Scranton, used to earn $20,000 a year playing music for federal inmates in 80 to 90 prisons until funding for the program dried up in the wake of post-Sept. 11 budget cuts.

Joseph wants his job back. And, like any American who needs to appeal to a higher power to ease political, economic or spiritual pain, he’s sending a message to Oprah. Not by phone or fax, but via a huge billboard in the Windy City, where Oprah is based, on which Joseph implores her: “SEND ME BACK TO PRISON!”

“My main desire is to tell my story on a taping of `The Oprah Winfrey Show,'” Joseph tells the Associated Press. That exposure, he hopes, will move some kindly donor to reinstate funding for his jail job. Joseph said he has yet to hear from the queen of talk TV, and our call requesting comment was not returned Friday.

JULIA: OPRAH MADE ME SICK

More Oprah Winfrey today. This one is happier news about America’s Numero Uno sweetheart, Julia Roberts, who is producing American sweetheart babies _ two of `em.

Roberts, who has kept a low profile during much of her pregnancy (her twins, a boy and a girl, are due in January), is back on the campaign trail, stumping for the flicks “Closer” (premiering Dec. 3) and “Ocean’s Twelve” (out Dec. 10). But last week, when she taped a sit-down with our pope of the New Age, the talk was all about mommyhood.

The revelation: Roberts had the blessing of experiencing not an iota of morning sickness in six months. The traumatic turnabout: Her first bout of the queasies happened on the show.

An unidentified audience member tells People mag that Roberts “was overwhelmed” by the experience of being face to face with Her Oprahood. “She said she hadn’t felt nauseous during her pregnancy until today, with all the energy and applause from the audience.”

The show will air Nov. 4.

HILTON CHECKING OUT?

Nicky Hilton doesn’t get into sex tape scandals. Unlike older sis Paris, she’s sensible. The heiress and handbag designer even got married on Aug. 15 to money manager Todd Meister, 33. But it appears Ms. Hilton is taking a page out of the book of Ms. Spears (a.k.a. the former Mrs. Jason Alexander): She wants out.

It’s not Brit’s 55-hour debacle, but still it’s a debacle. According to the New York Post, Hilton is gathering all her best buds _ Paris, Bijou Phillips, Tara Reid and Nicole Richie _ in Vegas this weekend to celebrate her 21st birthday, to party, and to, uh, discuss(?), chat about(?), plan(?) a possible separation from her hubby.

A spokesman for the couple tells the Post that “Todd and Nicky are still very close,” but adds that since she’s based on the West Coast and he in New York, they are in fact discussing a split. Yeah, great reason.

POSH HAS A BRAIN!

Watch out, world. Posh Spice is about to use her head. The New York Post says Victoria Beckham has decided to do some real work _ designing jeans.

“I’m using my brain for the first time in a long time,” the denim diva said.

Yowza!

SUPER CASTING

Will an actor “ever be found for the new Superman flick? The latest bit of non-movement: MSNBC.com cites IESB.net, which quotes James Caviezel of “The Passion of the Christ” fame, saying that the role of the Man of Steel “appeals to me a great deal.”

Then MSNBC.com quotes Aint-It-Cool.com, which has an interview with the director of the “allegedly forthcoming `Superman Returns,’ Bryan Singer (the latest in a semi-long list of directors attached to the project), who says that “Caviezel (is) a wonderful actor. … But no, I’m committed to casting an unknown.”

(Wire services contributed to this report.)

(c) 2004, The Philadelphia Inquirer.

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