This is not another column hyping LeBron James.

First of all, he isn’t the 19 year old I’d… This is not another column hyping LeBron James.

First of all, he isn’t the 19 year old I’d pick as NBA Rookie of the Year. That would be Carmelo Anthony. But that isn’t why I don’t want to talk about LeBron.

At 19, James and Anthony are too old. They’re not interesting; they’re old news; they practically need canes to walk compared to the new sensations in sports. So what if they’re younger than I am, and probably younger than most of you reading this are? They’re old!

Sports stars are becoming younger and younger, and on Saturday, Freddy Adu, 14 years young, made his Major League Soccer debut for D.C. United. Adu, who entered the game in the 61st minute to a standing ovation from a sellout crowd, did not score, did not shoot, and frankly, got flattened by a defender the only time he carried the ball into pressure. But that doesn’t matter — he’s 14, and we love him!

Adu is being touted as the savior of United States soccer and, at $500,000 a year, is already the best-paid player in the nine-year history of the MLS. He is the new media darling, having already reached the peak of celebrity as a guest of David Letterman’s last week.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not totally on the Adu bandwagon. Let’s not forget, he is from Ghana, a country that has already had to battle allegations of age falsification on its under-20 and under-17 national teams. Somewhere, Danny Almonte is probably screaming, “Hey, check this guy’s papers, too!”

Assuming Adu is 14, which I am inclined to, he would still have to lead the United States to the Under-17 World Championship in Finland this year to match Ghana’s Sammy Kuffor, who led their common homeland to the U-17 title in 1995.

And why exactly is he playing for the United States, anyway? Maybe this is why soccer never catches on here — none of the national team players are really national. The full U.S. national team features players named Bocanegra, Llamosa and Regis–pronounced RAY-zhee, because he’s French! If an American cheers for something French, Tom Ridge and John Ashcroft will personally tap his or her phone in accordance with the USA PATRIOT Act, so, of course, no one will cheer for the soccer team.

But enough about Freddy; I’m sure he’ll do well. And if he doesn’t, we always have Michelle Wie — another 14 year old, another pituitary phenomenon. Seriously, I’m about to sell my golf clubs because I can’t swallow my pride enough to accept I’m being out-driven by a girl.

Wie, more so than Anthony, James or Adu, is most likely to succeed in her sport because of the low risk of injury and her not needing teammates to win.

She is already torching LPGA competition as an amateur, and came closer to making the cut in a men’s event than either Annika Sorenstam — by consensus, the best female player in the world — or Suzy Whaley — the only woman who had any business in a men’s event, because she actually qualified for it. Oh, those tricky sponsor’s exemptions.

When it comes down to it, though, Wie, Adu, and the NBA rookies are just part of a new generation of sports stars — they’re just getting an early start. Anyone who worries about whether or not they’re ready for the spotlight needs to stop. People said the same thing about Moses Malone and Mario Lemieux, and things turned out pretty well for them, I’d say.

And really, what they’re doing is no different from being a high school sports star — except they’re in a really big school district. And they get paid. A lot. In fact, too much, but that’s a whole other issue.