For a country that seems to pride itself on an abundance of in-your-face sex, violence and… For a country that seems to pride itself on an abundance of in-your-face sex, violence and exploding things, why do we seem to have such a problem with interpersonal communication?

Making out with a total stranger at a party seems to be a time-honored tradition, but when it comes to matters of meaningful social interaction — especially with the opposite sex — people are afraid to speak their minds and ask frank questions of others. These trends in social awkwardness trace their roots back to our earliest days of peer interaction.

Example: Jimmy and Ashley are first-graders. Jimmy has a crush on Ashley. The normal behavior for this situation entails Jimmy kicking Ashley in the shins and rubbing mud in her hair. This will cause Ashley to cry, which will, in turn, force Jimmy to flee, fearing prosecution as an adult if he lives in a Southern state.

This is the template for how people act toward the opposite sex, even 15 years removed from their playground days. Though the mud and crying have been replaced by body language and dating protocol, the idea is basically the same, and the chief constant is a lack of directness.

Reading the signs and hints people drop can prove egregiously difficult and frustrating. I’m not the only one who has spent too much time stressing out over the possible meanings of something a girl may have said to me. Is it a sign or not a sign? If it is a sign, what does it mean? Does she like me? And so on.

For reasons that pass understanding, not only does being tactfully honest get you nowhere, but it also seems to have taken on an element of taboo.

What’s wrong with simply saying, “I like you,” instead of playing childish games — the rules of which nobody seems all too sure?

Having been in situations in which I’ve had to read signs, as well as ones that have been based on honest, direct communication, I much prefer the directness of the latter. I know I’m not the only one who struggles at finding the hidden meanings of others’ words and actions.

More often than not, I need to be beaten over the head with a large, wooden sign reading, “I like you” before realizing there have been signs thrown my way. On the opposite end of the spectrum, I’ve spent hours stressing over trying to read signs that weren’t signs at all. Some people are more direct than others.

The whole process would be much easier if there were no signs to read or body language to decipher. There shouldn’t be rules for how long you wait to call after getting a phone number or what sort of interaction constitutes a date. People should worry less about picking up the signs, and more about how to properly express themselves.

Furthermore, people who are honest when dating should be rewarded for having the intestinal fortitude to break with social norms. If you’re going to admit to a girl or guy, plainly and simply, that you have a crush on them, you are accepting the possibility that the person might not reciprocate your interest. That said, if he or she isn’t interested, you deserve more than the obligatory, “I’m really flattered.” If his or her response is more in the realm of what you’re hoping to hear, you deserve a direct answer.

Only when we cease avoiding confrontation will we be able to stop stressing over them as much. Imagine not having to deal with reading signs and following protocol as an added dimension to your relationships. It’s simply resolved with tactful honesty.

So next time you meet someone promising, make up a placard reading “I want you to call me,” or crumple up notes into a wad of paper the size of a medicine ball and toss it in his or her direction. Speak honestly and forwardly. Regardless of the outcome, at least you’ll be able to take pride in yourself for having the courage to be direct.

Yeah, I went out with that girl twice, and she bored me to tears. Never seeing her again. Hit Matt Wein in the head with a blunt object at [email protected].