Every once in a while, you have to get the hell out of Oakland. I know its serene… Every once in a while, you have to get the hell out of Oakland. I know its serene atmosphere and relentless beauty bear an obvious draw, and cause an endless black hole effect for some residents. But for those who aren’t blind and have some form of concern for hygiene, sometimes you just have to get away, even if it’s only for a night.

Enter one of the staples of every college student’s career – the road trip. This is a time-honored tradition, and for good reason. It’s a guaranteed kick-ass time that will leave you with some obscene stories that you may or may not want to share with your kids in the future.

All you need is a car, some friends, and enough mix CDs to last you until your destination, no matter how near or far it may be.

My friends and I hit the road one weekend for the most unPittsburgh of all destinations – State College. We persevered through Friday afternoon traffic, adding enough extra time to our journey to make all of our asses go numb. Cramped and hungry, we emerged out of the vehicle ready to take on Happy Valley.

And take it on, we did. We represented our beloved Pitt as best we could. We worked the beer pong tables, rocked out some flip cup games, and didn’t put up with anyone jeering us with cheers of “Pitt sucks,” or other less desirable little chants not worthy of printing.

The partying lasted into the wee hours of the morning when it was time to crash. This is where the bliss of the road trip takes a temporary hiatus. Sleeping arrangements on these endeavors never quite reach the standards of the Hilton, or the Motel 6 for that matter.

In this case our bedtime haven was the floor of a friend’s bedroom. This just so happened to be an actual closet into which a bed and TV were squeezed, disguising the true identity of this storage area.

Let it be said that college students are nothing if not adaptable. I set up camp with my head wedged between a radiator and someone else’s feet. My knees were conveniently propped up on a stack of movies and DVD’s.

A friend of mine lay perpendicular to me with her legs overlapping my knees – which were still in the pile of movies. A real trooper, she took her life in her hands placing her head in a doorway that was just asking for some wandering, intoxicated stooge to slam it and accidentally decapitate her.

After two hours of the least restful sleep ever, our “room” officially mutated into a sauna that reeked of stale beer and cigarette smoke. The bathroom was too skeevy looking to even justify brushing our teeth. It was time to bail. We indulged in the best breakfast Penn State has to offer and got back on the road.

The drive home was much more solemn. However, once we spotted the Oakland exit sign in the distance we greeted it with a rousing cheer. Despite its downfalls, Oakland is home, and it’s good to be back. Back to the place where we can shower and sleep in conditions that are at least suitable for animals. Back to walking down the street with the sound of Sombrero Man’s cup of change jingling in our ears.

Pick a weekend, gather some friends, and set out for destinations unknown. Be prepared to chuck personal hygiene to the wind, and have a blast. If nothing else, the road trip is guaranteed to accomplish Calvin’s dad’s mantra: “It builds character.”

Colleen Bayus is a columnist for the Pitt News. E-mail her at [email protected].