How does the softest team in the National Basketball Association become softer? By acquiring… How does the softest team in the National Basketball Association become softer? By acquiring a beast of a power forward who spends all day shooting three pointers, that’s how.

On Monday, the Dallas Mavericks, in a five-player trade, received Antoine Walker, formerly of the Boston Celtics. Now, Walker would be an outstanding forward and would probably score 25 points and have 10 or more rebounds a game, if he ever stayed in the paint. Instead, Walker hovers around the three-point line waving his hand to show everyone he is open for a three.

If Walker shot even 30 percent from the arc, this would not be such a bad thing, but the only person he outshoots, percentage-wise, is the trigger-happy Allen Iverson. So why did the Mavericks go and get this guy?

My guess is they have decided defense is meaningless. With the players they have coming back, and some new acquisitions, Dallas has the ability to score about 150 points a night. Since their post game is so weak, and they are not a very physical team, the Mavericks’ only way of making it out of the Western Conference this season will be by scoring ridiculous amounts of points.

Speaking of the NBA, next Tuesday is opening night, and the battle in my apartment is about to begin. My roommates and I have decided to order NBA League Pass, which entitles us to view almost every NBA game every night.

It’s a pretty sweet deal, since it will only cost $100 for the entire season – a steal, as far as my apartment is concerned.

The trick will be that my apartment’s favorite show also begins on Tuesday, which is Fox’s “24.” What shall we do? Picture-in-picture is not an option, and taking a break when our favorite teams are on will not fly.

Battle lines have been drawn; one roommate said today, “So, where are you guys going to watch ’24,’ since we will be watching the NBA?”

I responded, “right in the living room, while you’re at the bar.” My roommate quickly left and said that we would discuss it later. I cannot believe that I am against watching the NBA on opening night, but “24” is by far the best show on television.

Who would not want to watch LeBron and the rest of the NBA every night for only $100? And do people still hate the NBA? How? The talent level and quality of play is rising, and new superstars are making names for themselves. Perhaps, next week, an “NBA is awesome” column is in order. Well, NBA minus Iverson, that is.

In keeping with tradition, it is now time to bash the Philadelphia Eagles. You have

to admit, every week Donovan McNabb looks more and more like Kordell Stewart. Don’t give me this “oh, his hand is hurt” junk. If McNabb is on the field, he is responsible for the result. If he is too hurt to play, or too tired (Grady Little, you getting this?), take him out.

If McNabb continues to struggle, how long until we see Koy Detmer? Maybe a no-name quarterback can find the no-name Philly wide receivers. By the way, whatever happened to Duce Staley? Did he start holding out again? It seems like it, but Brian Westbrook, the Villanova prodigy, is the only viable weapon the Eagles have. Maybe he should take the snaps from under center.

Is it me, or don’t the 2003 Steelers’ look eerily similar to the 1995 Steelers? Both got off to bad starts, 2-3 in ’95 and 2-4 in ’03. Both have immobile, yet at times effective quarterbacks: Neil O’Donnell in 1995 and Tommy Maddox this year. Both had a slash, Kordell Stewart for O’Donnell and Antwaan Randle El for Maddox. Both had a big, bruising back: Bam Morris and Jerome Bettis, respectively.

The similarities continue, but the Steelers have a chance, this week, to embark on something the ’95 Steelers did. Following the 2-3 start, the ’95 Steelers went 10-1 down the stretch to finish 12-4. I believe the current Steelers need to do one thing in order to make a similar run. Tommy Maddox needs to grow a beard.

Every year, O’Donnell would start slow and, as the weather got colder, would grow one. It was effective in his final two seasons leading the Steelers to two consecutive conference championship games and one Super Bowl appearance.

Now that Bettis is the starting running back again, and the weather is turning cold, could Maddox growing a beard hurt the 2-4 Steelers? Well, I hope to see a grizzly looking Tommy Maddox on Sunday at Heinz Field when the St. Louis Rams come into town, and the run to Houston, where Super Bowl XXXVIII will be held, begins.

Matt Miloszewski is a columnist for The Pitt News and would like to thank every Philly fan that keeps e-mailing him at [email protected] to tell him how dumb he is.