The Real Pitt – Bouquet Gardens

By Jessica Knab

If you want real, you have to admit that sometimes real means just sitting around in your… If you want real, you have to admit that sometimes real means just sitting around in your apartment in your pajamas talking about nothing.

Moira’s making instant soup, Molly’s lounging on the standard-issue Pitt couch, ignoring “Inside Edition,” and Kiran’s just come in the door with her friend Andy and a bag of Panera food, discussing the importance of AIM and how a computer really isn’t that useful without it.

“Why are we watching this?” Moira asks.

Who knows?

But Andy’s here and gone like Jessica and Matt before him.

“Inside Edition” brings up a whole slew of topics, and it’s great for sitting around with a few of your friends who have nothing better to do than discuss whether or not they want to watch “Bend it like Beckham.”

“I HATE sports,” Molly says.

“No, I hate sports” Kiran interjects.

But they both agree that the movie shows surprising taste and entertainment value.

And they all agree they love food.

“We come together for food,” Molly says.

Specifically popcorn which, at times, they pop in ways other than right out of a bag. And they even melt their own butter and add popcorn-specific cheesy toppings made by the proud people at Kraft.

Even more than popcorn, though…

“If I had the choice between a bowl of popcorn and one spoonful of peanut butter,” Moira says. “I’d totally take the peanut butter.”

Hopefully Jessica and Matt have found a place to eat that is a little nicer than this Bouquet Gardens apartment.

Or maybe Moira should open a stand by Hillman Library, selling spoonfuls of peanut butter to college students, because heaven knows she’s not the only one that’s been caught with a spoon hanging out of her mouth.

“We don’t like skinny people,” Molly says laughing. “Wait! Except for Kiran!”

Back to latent “Inside Edition” infused with discussion, the girls sort of watch the dos and don’ts of creating soap opera love scenes. They’re shocked that the man wears flesh colored boxers while the woman wears only a g-string. Even more shocking is that a particular soap opera vixen shimmied around in her skivvies in nearly 15 “love-making” scenes.

“Maybe she likes g-strings,” Molly says.

“Yeah it’s not like she was complaining,” Kiran adds. “Fifteen! She’s like a soap opera whore!”

As the show moves on to more important topics, like the California elections, Molly divulges that she’s the only Republican in a group of seriously Democratic popcorn-eating, fondue-loving girls.

“I feel like it’s really hard to be conservative in college,” Molly says.

And who can blame her? She’s obviously outnumbered in this group of girls.

Molly expresses the importance of the fact that President Bush isn’t the only man running America, and seems to sympathize with him because he takes a significant amount of the criticism.

“I think he’s cute,” Molly says. “He looks huggable.”

“I would never hug George Bush,” Kiran deadpans.

“I think he needs a hug,” Molly says with a smile.

The girls begin debating doing some work, and Kiran thinks of going to the library.

“Nothing ever gets done here,” Moira says.

Well, yeah, but that’s reality.