Holly Opatick sighed deeply and paced around the room.

“Sometimes penises have their own… Holly Opatick sighed deeply and paced around the room.

“Sometimes penises have their own heads,” she said, referring to how differently men and women think about sex and dating.

Opatick, whose face immediately turned fire engine red, laughed nervously in front of an audience of about 10 giggling women.

“Well, you know what I mean,” she said, smiling and shaking her head.

Opatick, an education specialist from the local rape crisis center, Pittsburgh Action Against Rape, held a discussion Monday, Nov. 4 at 8 p.m., sponsored by the sisters of Alpha Kappa Alpha. Sex, Dating and Trouble was the theme of the evening, where Opatick discussed how women can reduce their risk of rape and sexual assault.

“Sexual assault is not about sex,” said Opatick, repeating the phrase two more times, making sure the audience clearly understood her. “Sexual assault is about power and control.

“If I stood here today and said that rape and sexual assault can be prevented, I would be lying,” she said. “All we can do is tell you how to reduce the chance of becoming a victim.”

Opatick also stressed to the girls that reducing the risk is not about being responsible for an assault.

“At PAAR, we don’t force our victims to press charges, but we do help them realize that it’s not their fault,” she said. “It will never be their fault.”

Naa Sackey, a sister and member of the Black Family Committee, set up the event for her fellow sisters.

“With all of the events going on around campus, I felt this would be a good time to have a discussion like this,” she said.

According to a PAAR pamphlet about sexual assaults on college campuses, 85 percent of sexual assaults are acquaintance rapes, or assaults committed by someone the victim knows. Of those rapes, 50 percent of the assaults are by the victims’ dating partner.

“This shows that the tale of the random man jumping out from a bush and attacking you is not as common as people say,” Opatick said. “What’s even scarier is that 35 percent of male college students said they would commit rape if they believed they could get away with it.”

Throughout the discussion, Opatick asked the girls several crucial questions concerning sex and dating.

“Someone is giving me a sexual come-on when …,” she said.

The girls laughed and said, “When he calls and wants to come over at 3 a.m.”

“Guys want sex …,” she said.

Half of the girls loudly proclaimed, “All the time.”

“Well, besides that?” she asked.

Silence.

Opatick explained that men do want the same kind of committed relationships as women.

More silence.

“I’m not male-bashing,” she said. “[Men and women] think differently. [Men] are listening to you, but they’re hearing something completely different than what you’re saying.”

At the end of the seminar, Opatick handed out pamphlets titled, “The Bill of Dating Rights,” which listed several amendments such as “I have the right to say NO” and “I have the right to be safe on a date.” She explained that certain morals should not be compromised when becoming involved with another person.

“This kind of thing goes on whether or not people know about it,” Sackey said. “We should let people know what they can do if they are ever in situations like these.”

The specialist also gave the women safety tips when on a date with someone new, stressing that the risk of drug-facilitated rape can be reduced if drinks are never left alone.

“If a guy offers to buy you a drink, go with him to get it and never let it out of your sight,” she said. “Never hang your schedule up outside of your dorm room and always plan a date that will allow you to be in public.”

PAAR provides free and confidential counseling to victims of rape and sexual assault. A hotline is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Opatick encourages anyone to call (866) END-RAPE if they have just been assaulted or have any questions concerning rape and sexual assault.

“It doesn’t matter how old you are, where you live or what color you are,” Opatick said. “Sexual assault can happen to anyone. But we will do everything we can to help you.”