Usually, rivalries are about who wins. Or at least who does more work. But the Pittsburgh… Usually, rivalries are about who wins. Or at least who does more work. But the Pittsburgh Penguins and Philadelphia Flyers have taken the idea of an intra-state competition to a whole new level. It’s now about who can do less.

I was in fifth grade when I moved to the other side of the state, taking with me my black-and-gold fandom and a ruthless disdain for all things that started with a “ph” sound. Needless to say, it didn’t last long, and even though the Bucs and Pens always remained my favorite, I developed a fondness for the Philly teams, which were almost always better, and, for the most part, avoided conflicts of interest in my sports watching.

Then I came back to Pittsburgh and the inner turmoil that had long been fermenting refined itself into a full-bodied, completely internal rivalry.

Every year, I watch both cities’ teams, trying to see if one will outdo the other in play, in sportsmanship, in stupid fan incidents