Airing it out

In parts of China where pollution has become a problem, stores are beginning to sell fresh mountain air in a can. Residents in Luanchuan County in the Henan Province came up with the idea and are planning to sell the cans of air all over China. According to Duan Junwei, deputy director of Luanchuan’s tourism bureau, the first shipment of canned air will be available to city residents for free. Each successive shipment of air after that will be sold. We can only hope that a similar product will be coming soon to South Oakland convenience stores.

That’s a big omelet

A truck carrying 180,000 eggs went missing from behind a 7-Eleven store in southwest Florida. The truck’s driver reported parking the semi behind the store on Sunday, last checking on it at 10 a.m. When the driver went back to his truck at 11:30 p.m., it was gone. There were no cameras at the scene to capture the heist. A caper of this magnitude could only mean one thing: The Easter Bunny’s stock of eggs is running low. 

Luke, I am your president

In the search for a new president in Ukraine, an unlikely candidate has stepped forward — Darth Vader. The Sith lord is running as a candidate for the Internet Party of Ukraine. The man behind the mask has yet to be identified in public, but he could be running against as many as 14 other candidates when the vote is taken in May. It is rumored his foreign policy will include blowing up other countries with lasers, as well as engaging in lightsaber battles with leaders who disagree with him.

Dad dance revolution

The embarrassing phenomenon known as “dad dancing” is a blight that could be remedied, according to research at Northumbria University in England. The study explains that achieving visually pleasing dance moves depends on what body parts a person moves. Researchers filmed volunteers dancing and then turned their movements into avatars using computer software. The avatars were then shown to a panel in order to judge how good each dancer was. According to the study, men who move mainly the top half of their body, such as Justin Timberlake, were more attractive to women, while women who moved predominantly the lower half of their body, such as Beyoncé, were more attractive to men. Although this study claims to cure dad dancing, there is no word on whether there is a solution in the works for dad jokes.