Mac attack

On Wednesday, the University of Connecticut issued a no trespassing order to former student Luke Gatti after his drunken, obscene pursuit of macaroni and cheese grated on food service workers’ nerves. Gatti got disorderly when workers refused to fill his Oct. 4 order of jalapeno-bacon macaroni and cheese. Following his arrest, police officers told Gatti to say “cheese” for his mug shot.

Phantom leg

On Monday, a thief took bootlegging a bit too literally and stole a leg from the back of a van belonging to an organ and tissue donation organization. The van’s staffers had stopped to eat at a restaurant, but knew something was afoot when they returned to find the cooler containing the leg had run off. The thief managed to get a leg up on authorities, and has not been caught. Of course, he had to heel-toe it out of there to make sure that he got away before the workers’ lunch break ended. The leg’s recipient is hoping for a speedy recovery in his time of knee-d.

Ruff break

On Monday, owners of an English bulldog invited authorities for a game of fetch. Suspects Jamill Slaughter and Carla Martinez stole the bulldog, Gunny, during a robbery last Saturday. They later posted the bulldog for sale on Craigslist. They should probably have taken a moment to paws and think about their decision. The owners found the Craiglist posting and arranged to meet the thieves, with investigators in tow to send the suspects to the doghouse.

Change for change

On Nov. 3, one lucky Philadelphia voter will get a bailout for filling out a ballot. In an effort to strengthen voter turnout for the mayoral election, election officials are entering voters into an election lottery worth $10,000. Now, Philadelphia voters can both cast a vote and cash a vote. If the lottery is successful, officials may just convert the ballot box into a slot machine for next year’s election. In other news, the voter turnout is expected to triple.

Provocative statements

A Romanian education ministry official is taking a walk of shame after backlash from his sexist comments forced him to resign from his post. During a press conference on Tuesday, Vasile Salaru said that Roman schools should teach women to wear high heels, dance the tango, be a good host and walk enticingly in public. In his opinion, girls should walk with “chest out, bottom out, let the boys faint,” and in the Romanian public’s opinion, Salaru should just get out, get out and leave all women alone.