Shoebacca

A man who left his shoe at a crime scene two years ago has finally been arrested for his crime. Mario Andreas Godinez and two other individuals are accused of being involved in an attempted home invasion in Greeley, Colo., in 2012. When the trio was unable to gain entry to the house, they fled in a vehicle. In the process, Godinez left his shoe at the scene. Although the shoe is thought to be a damning piece of evidence, the defense’s mentality must be: “If the shoe doesn’t fit, they must acquit.”

That’s bananas

Supermarket workers at five Aldi stores in Berlin were shocked when they opened a shipment of bananas to find 140 kilograms of cocaine tucked among the shipment. The drugs were reportedly shipped with the bananas from Colombia and packed onto trucks in Hamburg, Germany, for distribution to the grocery stores. I guess Mr. Bluth was right when he said there’s always money in the banana stand.

Overly eager

Police in Connecticut are searching for a man who broke into a convenience store and stole a single banana. Police were notified by a burglar alarm at 1:48 a.m. and reviewed surveillance footage upon arrival. The security footage shows a Ford Freestyle backing into the doors of the store repeatedly to break the glass and a man then entering the store, taking a banana from the shelf and peeling and eating it. The man then left the store. If the man is willing to go to such extremesfor a banana, we can only imagine what he’d do for a Klondike Bar.

Law and Order: Fruit Victims Unit

A man in Florida was arrested after he allegedly attacked his girlfriend with a banana. Phillip Joseph Smolinsky is being held without bail on charges of domestic battery and resisting arrest after engaging in an altercation with his live-in girlfriend. When police responded to Smolinsky’s home, his girlfriend reported that he had thrown a banana at her, leaving a red mark on her face. Smolinsky denied that he had thrown the fruit, reporting that his girlfriend had thrown a banana at him. First, Florida had news stories about bath salts and now about banana assaults.

“O Unruly Night”

On Christmas Eve, a woman in South Carolina allegedly stabbed her partner with a ceramic squirrel. The woman had sent the man to a store to buy alcohol, but it was closed. When he arrived back home empty-handed, the woman grabbed the ceramic squirrel and hit the man over the head with it before using it as a weapon to stab him in the chest and shoulder. The man ran to a neighbor’s house in order to call 911. It’s a good thing the woman grabbed the ceramic squirrel and not a ceramic porcupine.