When I think of food in Pittsburgh, a few items always flash through my mind. Fries on everything — a salad, a sandwich, it doesn’t matter; egg, possibly on everything, and ranch dressing, always on the side.

I recently delved into the Pittsburgh chicken wing scene and actually found myself pleasantly surprised by the options it presented me. A Quaker Steak and Lube obsession during my freshman year soured me on wings, but I decided to give them another try with the goal of answering this question: Which has better wings, Peter’s Pub or Hemingway’s Cafe?

The rubric I created encompasses what I consider to be the five most important characteristics of wing joints. Each restaurant can earn a possible five points in each category, with one being terrible and five being great. The final grade is the sum of category scores for each establishment. 

For the purposes of this column, I have omitted pizza places that also serve wings (Larry and Carol’s, Papa Da Vinci, Domino’s, etc.). I have also excluded Quaker Steak and Lube because I don’t think it holds a candle to either of the restaurants below. That is to say, only wing joints immediately at the Pitt student’s disposal will be considered. The following are the categories with a summary of the assessment process.

Value – This category will look to assess the approximate price per wing (PPW) in conjunction with the overall wing market assessment. The PPW is based on an average eater’s wing intake in one sitting — about 15-20 wings.

Variety – What are they offering? Boneless wings? With a rub? With a sauce? 

Taste – How good are the flavors they offer?

Convenience – Where are they located and how quickly will they get you your food?

X-factor – Is it original?

Peter’s Pub (Grade: A)

Peter’s wings have an impressive PPW of 65 cents, the cheapest in Oakland. Additionally, Peter’s offers their wings for 45 cents each on Monday nights from 9 p.m. to midnight and $1 off appetizers, which include wings, on Fridays. Seeing as the price does not in any way affect the quality of the wing offered, Peter’s wings receive five out of a possible five points in terms of value.

Continuing on, Peter’s offers typical wing flavors, such as hot and mild buffalo sauces, more distinct options, such as cajun ranch rub and seasoned garlic Parmesan, and the most peculiar “kitchen sink” flavor. All palates and wing fanatics will certainly find a flavor at this pub. However, Peter’s does not offer a boneless wing, which may or may not matter to you, but Peter’s receives four out of a possible five points in terms of variety. 

As far as taste is concerned, Peter’s has delicious wings. They are cooked to a perfect crisp so that the meat falls right off the bone, ever so delicately. The kitchen sink sauce is a delicious cheese blend with a kick to it. It may be difficult to believe, but hearty is the best word to describe the wings. Eat six of them and you will be full and satisfied. Peter’s gets five out of five points for taste.

This brings me to convenience. Located on Oakland Avenue with a kitchen that’s open until midnight, Peter’s is in an ideal location for Pitt students, but it’s still not as convenient as places that deliver. Peter’s receives four out of five points for convenience.

Lastly, Peter’s is a great environment, especially for sports fans. With televisions all around the bar, there is always a game to watch. Plus, the popcorn machine is a unique and fun touch. Peter’s is the ideal spot to watch football on weekends because with every game, beer and wings are readily available. Peter’s earns five out of five points for the X-factor.

Hemingway’s Café (Grade: B+)

Hemingway’s offers a PPW of 80 cents. However, Hemingway’s erases the differential between themselves and Peter’s by offering half-off specials on their appetizers, including wings, from 11 to 11:45 a.m., 2 to 4 p.m. and 9 p.m. to midnight every day. The wings may not be the greatest, but they are very cheap for the majority of the day, so they earn five out of a five possible points for value. 

Like Peter’s, Hemingway’s offers a number of different wing types — from the typical buffalo to the more outlandish jerk and sweet and spicy sauces, but they have left boneless wings off their menu, as well, leaving them with four out of five points for variety. 

Although I have not experienced every flavor Hemingway’s offers, I have tried the buffalo and garlic Parmesan flavors, and they were good — but not great. If Peter’s was not open, I would definitely head to Hemingway’s, but the wings did not blow me away. They receive four out of five points for taste. 

Hemingway’s is located right on Forbes Avenue, easily accessible to all students until the kitchen closes at midnight. However, they do not offer delivery, so they can only receive four out of five points for convenience.

Lastly, Hemingway’s is another good spot to watch the game, and there seems to be a constant stream of happy-hour specials. The shot pitchers are a unique touch, as well. They get five out of five points for the X-factor.

In the end, Peter’s wings nudge out Hemingway’s by a score of 23 to 22 out of 25 possible points, but between the two of them, they have certainly put Pittsburgh’s wings on the map.

Write to Brett at [email protected].