The University of Pittsburgh's Daily Student Newspaper

The Pitt News
The University of Pittsburgh's Daily Student Newspaper

The Pitt News
The University of Pittsburgh's Daily Student Newspaper

The Pitt News
Satire | Running thoughts from a certified unathletic person

Satire | Running thoughts from a certified unathletic person

By Anne Marie Yurik, Staff Columnist • September 24, 2020
Read this and take part in the journey of an unathletic person rediscovering what it means to run.
Satire | Top 10 grocery items for serotonin production

Satire | Top 10 grocery items for serotonin production

By Alex Dolinger, Staff Columnist • September 22, 2020
Here are my top 10 Target picks this fall:
Satire | Top 10 ways to relieve quarantine depression

Satire | Top 10 ways to relieve quarantine depression

By Alex Dolinger, Staff Columnist • September 17, 2020
When this all began, I was pretty optimistic. I thought after a couple weeks of working out and baking some stupid bread, we would be on track for a normal school year.
Columnist Anne-Marie Yurik poses with her dog, Texas Ted.

Satire | Dispatches from a South Oakland dog

By Anne Marie Yurik, Staff Columnist • September 13, 2020
Read about the South Oakland adventures of your soon-to-be favorite 12-pound pooch, Ted, as he takes on the mean streets of Pittsburgh.
Geese and pigeons can be seen around campus and in Schenley park.

Satire | Top 10 ways to have fun outdoors

By Alex Dolinger, Staff Columnist • September 3, 2020
t’s been a while since a lot of us have played outside, so it’s easy to be unsure what to do.
Satire | The Plague Diaries: Dispatches from 1348

Satire | The Plague Diaries: Dispatches from 1348

By Alison Sivitz, Staff Columnist • August 27, 2020
I stumbled across a dusty journal wedged underneath a floorboard in my attic. While the pages were practically falling apart, the writing was just legible enough for me to read.
Satire | Nine problems therapy dogs can’t fix

Satire | Nine problems therapy dogs can’t fix

By Alex Dolinger, Staff Columnist • August 20, 2020
This is shaping up to be an anxiety-inducing school year, and without our furry friends to give us their silent yet transcendent wisdom, we are essentially raw-dogging it through a year when we need dogs most.
Satire | What not to do as a first year

Satire | What not to do as a first year

By Genna Edwards, Senior Staff Columnist • July 23, 2020
Don’t drink from the Cathy water fountains. They’re, like, oddly warm.
A Farewell to the Opinions Satirist, Allison Dantinne

A Farewell to the Opinions Satirist, Allison Dantinne

By Leah Mensch, Opinions Editor • April 19, 2020
If you don’t know Allison Dantinne, then that’s truly a shame. But, you still have about a week before virtual graduation to find her email at the bottom of one of her satire pieces, email her and arrange a Zoom meeting.
Humor | How to make online classes more exciting

Humor | How to make online classes more exciting

By Alex Dolinger, Staff Columnist • April 9, 2020
I’ve realized through several days of online classes that this new world of learning gives us several opportunities for amusement, if only we take advantage. Thus, I bring you my top 10 ways to make your online classes exciting and fun.
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