Some love for Philadelphia todayGet your diploma, son

This season, if you get ejected from Lincoln Financial Field, the home of the Philadelphia Eagles, you’ll have to pass an online course and pay a fee to be allowed back into the stadium. This is good news for the city: It’s about time an Eagles fan graduated from something.

If the world ends on New Year’s, it’s our fault

A Guatemalan family discovered a centuries-old hidden Mayan mural on the walls of their home, proving it’s not only college students who decide to forgo spring cleaning every once in a while. The mural depicted figures walking in a procession line, some holding human hearts in sacrifice, reminding us that when walking into a Mayan home, the phrase “home is where the heart is” holds an anthropological meaning best not placed on a wall placard. Regardless of the circumstances surrounding the discovery, archaeologists all agreed, it was a mur-acle.

Roadside attractions

A Uniontown, Pa.-area woman was arrested this week for flagging down motorists and offering to remove her clothes for cash. It appears as if somebody in the region has misinterpreted the meaning of Cash for Clunkers.

Gold standard? How about bacon standard?

Actor Josh Sankey will make his way across the country using only bacon as barter in a promotional campaign for Oscar Mayer’s new line of bacon. No word on how he will pay for roadside stripteases.

Quarters are awesome

A Buffalo man plead guilty this week to stealing $200,000 in quarters from city parking meters since 2003. The man was caught when a store manager noticed he had been riding on the same supermarket rocket ship ride for 47 hours.

The States vs. the U.K.

A British man was recused from jury duty after writing a letter claiming his selection would be “a serious injustice to the legal system” because he held “extreme prejudices against homosexuals and black/foreign people.” He claimed he “couldn’t possibly be impartial if either appeared in court.” Apparently American judges and British judges have differing standards.