The Panther Crawl
The University of Pittsburgh's Daily Student Newspaper

The Pitt News
The University of Pittsburgh's Daily Student Newspaper

The Pitt News
The University of Pittsburgh's Daily Student Newspaper

The Pitt News

Thomas Riley, Opinions Editor

Thomas Riley is a junior double major in Politics and Philosophy and English Writing. They enjoy all things comedy and love to satirize current events and student life in their own writing. You can catch them procrastinating in Hillman, reading in Cathy or dreading a required economics course in Lawrence. Share your own opinions or sell them CDs by emailing

All content by Thomas Riley
Opinion | How to argue about cannibalism — and almost everything else

Opinion | How to argue about cannibalism — and almost everything else

By Thomas Riley, Opinions Editor
September 17, 2023
(Left) Livia LaMarca and Thomas Riley

Meet the editors: Opinions

By Thomas Riley and Livia LaMarca
August 29, 2023
Halket Street in Oakland.

Satire | Pitt student loses mind after all his friends go home for summer

By Thomas Riley, Opinions Editor
June 7, 2023
Opinion | Write something that sucks — it’s good for you

Opinion | Write something that sucks — it’s good for you

By Thomas Riley, Senior Staff Columnist
April 11, 2023
Satire | ‘Silenced’ conservative voices found to actually be really loud and annoying

Satire | ‘Silenced’ conservative voices found to actually be really loud and annoying

By Thomas Riley, Staff Columnist
March 28, 2023
Opinion | A reflection on what it means to be home

Opinion | A reflection on what it means to be home

By Thomas Riley, Staff Columnist
March 12, 2023
Opinion | Time is not of the essence — don’t use it to measure the things that matter

Opinion | Time is not of the essence — don’t use it to measure the things that matter

By Thomas Riley, Staff Columnist
February 15, 2023
Poetry | Lines half as lovely as you

Poetry | Lines half as lovely as you

By Thomas Riley, Staff Columnist
February 7, 2023
Satire | First artificially intelligent student accepted to Carnegie Mellon School of Arts

Satire | First artificially intelligent student accepted to Carnegie Mellon School of Arts

By Thomas Riley, Staff Columnist
January 20, 2023
Opinion | Stop only asking people to respect pronouns

Opinion | Stop only asking people to respect pronouns

By Thomas Riley, Staff Columnist
January 12, 2023
Satire | Ally to renters? This South Oakland landlord claims he’s ‘one of the good ones’

Satire | Ally to renters? This South Oakland landlord claims he’s ‘one of the good ones’

By Thomas Riley, Staff Columnist
November 15, 2022
Poetry | Ode to a pumpkin carver

Poetry | Ode to a pumpkin carver

By Thomas Riley, Staff Columnist
October 30, 2022
Satire | Egomania at the restaurant: How to assert your authority when out to eat

Satire | Egomania at the restaurant: How to assert your authority when out to eat

By Thomas Riley, Staff Columnist
October 19, 2022
Satire | Pitt student distraught after realizing his music taste is terrible

Satire | Pitt student distraught after realizing his music taste is terrible

By Thomas Riley, Staff Columnist
October 3, 2022
Opinion | The American proletariat does not exist

Opinion | The American proletariat does not exist

By Thomas Riley, Staff Columnist
September 29, 2022
Satire | Upper campus students unbothered by new construction

Satire | Upper campus students unbothered by new construction

By Thomas Riley , For The Pitt News
September 18, 2022
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The Pitt News
Email: [email protected] | [email protected]
Address: 434 William Pitt Union, Pittsburgh, Pa. 15260
Phone: 412-648-7980
Fax: 412-648-8491
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